#I know we're both just stressed the fuck out about money and it's really really affecting our moods and reactions

[marxstradamus]

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[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Club Fun

A/n: this is a draft that I’ve had for a while and I just kept putting it off posting because I wasn’t sure I liked it but I wanted to put it out and see what other people think 💕 thanks for reading I appreciate it 💕

(This also isn’t proofread at all soooo I’m sorry for any mistakes)

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, adult themes and Nat being a pain in the ass

"Come on Y/n how bad could a gentleman's club be?" Nat pushed you through the doors even with you groaning and pushing back against her

"Nat I have a literal alien in my body and I don't know what will set them off" you felt a grumble in your head

"I am not a prepubescent teenager Y/n I am sophisticated"

"Only because you can't survive without me out of my body" you grumbled back and Nat really wished she could understand what you were saying to the alien

You looked up and sighed "okay let's go in"

Nat smiled wide and guided you through the small hallway to the second bouncer "hey we're Nat and Y/n, we have a table booked under Tony Stark?"

The man looked you both over the at the list seeing your names and allowing you past "please keep your hands to yourselves and don't try and get any dancer's numbers because they'll just laugh at you" he laughed and you rolled your eyes turning to Nat

"does he think we're kids? Pretty sure I can control myself around some scantily clad women"

Nat scoffed "talk about yourself Y/n, I see a hot woman staring at me I'll give her money my number, my soul anything the sexy lady wants"

You giggled "you'll get us kicked out the moment we sit down at the booth"

Nat ignored you as she eyed up a waitress walking past who gave her a wink in response "yeah yeah whatever I'm gonna go and get some free drinks" she patted you on the back leaving you alone, well with the alien obviously

"We are being stared at"

You glanced around not noticing anything "what are you talking about?"

They turned your body around suddenly nearly falling over before you managed to steady yourself "dude what the fuck, you can't just turn me around like that!" You whisper shouted at them but they ignored you

"There is a redhead lady who is looking at us and biting her lip, I think she is older than us" you were pointed towards said woman and she gave you a wink

"Oh you're right, do you think she wants us to go over?" Before you could say anything else the woman in question walked over to you "hi pretty girl, do you need some help? You look a little lost"

The sweetness in her voice made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your mouth go dry "oh-er no-no thanks my friend is just getting drinks" you glanced at Nat who was very much not getting your drinks but instead was making out with the waitress she followed after

"It seems you're friend is a little busy right now, I'll take you to your booth" she pulled you towards a booth, her hand gripping your own sweaty mess of a hand.

You were near enough thrown into the booth and the woman followed close near enough sat in your lap "how about I get us some shots? They should loosen your cute tongue"

"...okay" you whispered and the women smiled kissing you on the cheek turning around and singling for a waiter to come over with their tray of shots

"How many miss Scarlet?" The man asked and she told him to put the tray down "thanks Brucie"

He left without another word and she took a glass from the tray pointing it towards you "here you go pretty girl" she tipped the drink towards your mouth and you opened your mouth taking the drink "good?"

You nodded licking the left over liquid from your lips "yeah it's good"

The woman's piercing green eyes were locked onto yours sitting in silence for a few moments before she spoke again "can I interest you in a dance?" She asked sweetly and you shook your head maybe a little too much making her pout

"Awe are you sure? I can relive all of that clear tension coming off of your shoulders, you're too pretty to be stressed"

She stood up bringing you with her and walking off towards Nat who managed to pull her face away from the waitress long enough to talk to you

"Y/n! This place is amazing! This is Maria, she's great" her ragged breath made you laugh "I'm sure she is amazing Nat"

Maria looked behind you to the woman and winked "so Scarlet, is this your new little conquest?"

So her name was Scarlet, or maybe just her stage name, you were certain no one gave their real names out, but this Maria did? She's not a dancer though you guessed?

Scarlet's arms wrapped around your waist getting your attention and she chuckled when you jumped "don't think too hard there pretty girl" she looked to Maria "I offered a dance but she turned me down Mia"

You couldn't see her face but you knew she was pouting about you refusing a dance "Y/n you can't refuse a dance! That's the whole point of the club!"

"I know but-

"No buts Y/n! Go on Scarlet take her to a room and help her relax" Nat demanded ignoring your embarrassed face

"Whatever the costumer wants they get Natalia" Scarlet smirked grabbing your hand leading you through the club away from the safety of people and noise for a quiet private room

"You need to relax honey, I promise you're okay I'll take such good care of you" she purred sitting you down on the couch and you finally looked at her properly seeing the dark red blazer wrapped around her body

"Y/n your body is heating up is everything okay?"

You couldn't answer them instead watching Scarlet unbutton her blazer dropping it to the floor

"Holy shit" you whispered letting your eyes wonder over her lingerie barley covering her body, it was useless being there in all honesty, her breasts were practically spilling out and that's where you met her finger pointing to her face "my eyes are up here princess" she chuckled and your eyes snapped up

"S-sorry!"

She giggled coming towards you and straddling your lap placing a leg on either side "don't say sorry for admiring beauty honey, let's start with your name again"

"Y-y/n" you whispered feeling your hands unintentionally land on her thighs and she gasped "getting bold Y/n? I like it"

"You were moving too slow so I needed to help you Y/n"

You knew they where right, you had a woman, a hot woman you may add on your lap wearing the hottest thing you’ve ever seen and yeah sure it’s part of her job but you could have fun right?

“Get out of your pretty head Y/n” she brought you out of your thoughts and jumped at how you could feel her breath on your face as she whispered in your ear “so Y/n are you going to tell me what you I can do for you?

“This is all new to me so I don’t know what to ask for”

Scarlet looked over you and your slightly trembling body “how about a kiss?" She didn't really wait for answer before kissing you on the lips softly, you remained frozen until you were mentally slapped by your symbiote

"Y/n I do not get aroused or feel sexual tension but even I am suffering through this air of arousal, kiss her back"

You relaxed into the kiss sighing as you kissed her back, feeling Venom slip into your body and elongate your tongue and force her mouth open slipping the long tongue inside and wrapping around her own, Scarlet either didn't realise or didn't care because she moaned into the kiss trying to gain some kind of control

When you both had to pull away for some air Scarlet was shocked seeing the tongue lull out of your mouth "what the hell is that? Looks like your tongue had an erection" when she laughed and didn't run away from you or slap you your heart grew ten sizes, it was nice you guessed if still little strange.

"Can you even talk with that thing?" she giggled and wen to kiss you again but you pulled away letting your tongue return to its normal size

"Everthing okay?" She placed a kiss on your cheek as a reassurance and you smiled

"Have you ever heard of symbiotes?"

She sat back on your lap thinking about it "like that alien that tried to destroy the world? Are you that alien?"

You shook your head "no! No at all, I was just infect-sorry chosen to be a host for one...do you want to meet them?"

Scarlet had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing "well this is nothing like my normal encounters here but sure, let's see the little alien"

Venom didn't need to be told twice and their tendrils appeared forming a their head smiling at Scarlet

"You are a very pretty lady miss Scarlet, I cannot feel aroused or these silly human feelings but you have a hot body and Y/n agrees"

"Venom! Just stop talking" you groaned trying to get away but you were still trapped under Scarlet's thighs

"God this is so weird, it's a good thing you're hot" she lent forward placing a kiss on your neck and then biting you there, you looked at Venom whispering "go back"

They looked at you funny so you said it again "it's a private moment now Venom"

They understood and retreated back into your body quickly and you focused back on the feeling of her soft lips on your neck.

******************************************************************

“My lips are chapped Nat” Maria pulled away from Nat who still tried chasing after her “oh come on, they’re not that bad”

The waitress gently pushed her away “you’re insatiable, I like it, give me a few minutes and I’ll take you somewhere nice”

‘Where?” She questioned

“To the best room we have, it’s got a mini fridge” Maria kissed Nat again softly refusing to let her take over the kiss again “plus we can watch the cameras for your friend”

Nat’s eyes widened “there’s cameras in the room?”

Maria laughed “obviously, how else are we supposed to protect our girls?”

She lead Nat through the club into a closed off area and through a door to a room with a couch, a mini fridge and the cameras she mentioned

“This looks like a pervs hangout” Nat commented but Maria just rolled her eyes pushing the redhead to the couch “just sit there and be quiet, if that’s something you can do”

"I prefer being loud" Nat winked

"I can’t wait to prove that later" Maria took some wine out of the fridge and sat next to the woman giving her a kiss on the cheek “okay let’s get this started" she turned on the Tv changing the channel through the rooms before finding you and Scarlet

"Ugh boring they're just talking" nat looked through the screen, she hoped she could read lips so she knew what you were saying, when she got a closer look she noticed Venom's head at the side of you "what the fuck?!"

Maria put down the wine quickly looking at these screen "what's that?! Is that a puppet? Does your friend have a puppet kink? A little odd but I'm sure Scarlet can work with that" Maria was laughing but Nat only let out a small chuckle too focused on why the hell Venom decided to make themselves known, suddenly Scarlet lent forward kissing and started kissing your neck

"The puppet worked" Maria laughed and Nat managed a small laugh "hah yeah sure" she turned the TV off instead not wanting to focus on you and your weird alien friend, she had no idea why Scarlet didn't mind it though

"Well they're boring now"

******************************************************************

Scarlet's lips moved up to your ear "you're not the only one with a secret princess"

Your smile dropped and you pulled away suddenly but Scarlet just laughed "it's okay honey nothing horrible, do you know what a coven is?"

You flexed your hands on her thighs and swallowed nervously "like witches?"

She smiled "yes"

"Are you a witch?"

She simply nodded and flashed her red eyes making you gasp "shit that's so cool!" You were memorised, maybe a little scared since witches were seen as strange or evil but a dancer at a gentleman's club couldn't be evil...right?

"I'm not evil honey, just someone who gets bored easily and needs something to do"

Did she read your mind?? You looked at her surprised and she giggled "yes princess I can read minds and yours has been a delight to listen too"

That's so weird but cool as well, so what so we do now?"

"Well, my real name is Wanda to start with, I use Scarlet because the guys like it, and for security of course"

You were really trying to listen honestly you were but your eyes kept flickering down to her chest

"You're not listening to a thing I'm saying are you?" Wanda laughed using her finger to lift up your chin "it's okay, I know what you really want" she lent forward to kiss you but a bell went off stopping her in her tracks "oooh sorry princess times up"

She tried pulling away but your fingers dug into her thighs keeping her there "but you were going to kiss me again?”

She raised her eyebrow and smiled at you "I know, I love leaving my clients on edge, it guarantees they come back"

This time Venom growled and appeared again "that seems a little unfair Wanda, we showed you me, I think we deserve a treat"

She just shrugged managing to pull away from you standing up and covering herself with her robe "are you saying you don't want to see me again?"

Both you and Venom were confused

"Because if I slept with you that's what would happen, and I'm quite enjoying your company"

"She is teasing us Y/n"

You agreed "she is"

Wanda watched you as you were thinking, and you knew she was reading your mind "you have some hot thoughts in there Y/n, a stark difference from when we first started, now come on, your friend will be waiting for you"

You sighed reluctantly getting up and going past Wanda when she gave you a small smack on your ass "hey!"

She laughed "I couldn't help myself honey"

****************************************************************

"Nice to finally see you two out of the room, did you give her the full dance Scarlet?" Maria laughed glancing between the two of you and the redhead smiled wrapping her fingers around your waist "she had a wonderful time Maria, she'll be coming back tomorrow night"

Nat gasped and you looked at her "you're coming back?! Wow Y/n, she must've given you the full treatment eh?"

When your face blushed Wanda kissed your cheek "you're so cute malen'kiy you can have my number, so call me when you're here tomorrow and I'll come and get you"

You nodded and went to kiss Wanda but you weren't too sure until Wanda pulled you in close kissing you hard

"Oooooohhhh!" Nat exclaimed excitedly "Maria did you see that?! My little virgin is getting somewhere!"

You instantly pulled back going bright red "Nat! I'm not a virgin! I've slept with loads of women"

Both women laughed and Wanda tried hiding her own smirk "it's okay princess, I'm an excellent teacher"

You groaned pulling away from the woman "come on Nat before I sink into the ground from embarrassment"

Nat giggled and kissed Maria one more time "so it look's like I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll have the usual room ready" she winked in response kissing the redhead again

"Do I get a good-bye kiss?" Wanda pouted and you rolled your eyes walking back to her "I never expected this coming into a strip club" holding the woman's face in your hands you kissed Wanda softly before pulling away then kissing her nose

"Hmm you're my favourite client malen'kiy"

"I have no idea what that Russian word means but I hope it's good"

Wanda giggled kissing the side of your head "Ty takaya ocharovatel'naya printsessa, dumayu, ya ostavlyu tebya ty moya"

You heard Nat soft gasp from the side of you and you whipped your head around to her "did she say something shocking?"

Wanda looked to Nat shaking her head and Nat nodded "just some sickly sweet thing about you, typical for you to come into a gentleman's cub for a dance from a stripper to come out with a potential partner"

You shrugged "hey I can't help it if I have incredible game"

The group burst out laughing even Wanda joined in making you pout

"Y/n I love you I really do but you're really terrible with women, I'm surprised Wanda actually made out with you"

You blushed hard leaner closer into Wanda "yeah well fuck you Nat" okay it wasn't the best comeback but its the only one you could think of

"It's okay Y/n I thought that was a very good comeback" Wanda kissed your cheek "okay honey, I've got to go back to work"

You started to talk back but a finger shushed your lips "I still need money my love but I want you back here tomorrow okay?"

You nodded "I'm definitely coming back all the time Wanda, I'll sit in the corner with a snack"

Wanda held in a giggle rubbing your shoulder "oh honey I don't think my clients would enjoy that"

"Then they'd to keep their hands off of you" you retorted and Wanda laughed "my little possessive girl don't worry, you'll get the special private dances"

It was your turn to blush hard again and you had to keep yourself steady "o-oh okay cool yeah! Great"

Nat laughed “you’re a mess, come on idiot let’s go”

[dashofmonsters]

Dreamers & Delusions- Pt. 10

merman x female reader

You toss on whatever clothes you can find and meet Jes downstairs and hop in her car. She tries over and over again to call Arty but he doesn't answer.

"Fucking fae and phones, I swear he and I are going to have a long conversation about this later," Jes scowls.

"As long as we get there before she calls the cops we should be fine," you offer a hopeful half smile.

"If she didn't call them as soon as she saw them you mean," Jes speeds out of the beach area and into town.

You hold onto the handle for dear life and balance yourself as she makes a few sharp turns and runs a light. Your already upset stomach churns and gurgles so you close your eyes hoping that'll help it settle just a little.

The car comes to an abrupt halt and you fling your eyes and door open and hurl at the stop light. Jes curses and apologizes for the harsh driving but you wave it off. You know how severe this situation is and you'd rather vomit than have your merman you're in love with deported.

When the light turns green Jes floors it and rushes towards your neighborhood. You sigh in relief when you don't see any cop car lights but you do see your grandmother and that's just as bad.

Tao is towering over her, arms crossed and scowling down at her with his damn teeth bared. Arty isn't alone, he's got a few of his wild fae biker buddies with him and Jes' brother Kirk is standing on the side between Toa and your grandmother waiting to step in between them if he needs to.

The second Jes gets close enough you fly out of the car and stomp up to the lot. Everyone turns their heads towards you aside from Tao and your grandmother.

"Tao come on, we're getting my crap and leaving," you tell him and that snaps him from his stare off.

"Hold right there! I get no call, no fucking messages and you're moving out? How fucking dare you!" your grandmother yells at you. "I was worried but no, you were too caught up in your own fucking bullshit that you never once thought about me!"

You turn towards your grandmother and for the first time in your life, you really see her for what she is, a pathetic and conceited lonely woman.

"You really are sad, you know that?" you start. "You keep chasing away people who love you because everything has to be according to you. You parade yourself as a fucking saint for taking me in but not once have you treated it like a charity. I've paid to stay here, I'm nothing more than a tenant to you. So you have no fucking right to say you're worried about me when you're only worried about my goddamn mother fucking money!"

Everyone is silent, even your grandmother. Her eyes widen and her lips quiver but you don't spare her the space to talk.

"And you dare to insult the people who actually treat me with respect and like I'm a fucking person. You need to fucking check yourself because you're no cakewalk grandmama. Who the fuck do you even think you are? What authority do you think you hold to treat people like shit?" you ask as you step up to her.

Her eyes look you up and down and she raises her arm but you catch it. She tries to pull her arm away and attempts to slap you with her free hand but someone calls out and she freezes.

"Just fucking stop Cat, you're causing a scene," Gayle walks up in full designer looking like she stepped out of a fashion magazine.

Your grandmother stops struggling and her arms lose all strength.

"And here I was about to pick you both up for a late lunch," Gayla smiles and looks at you. "Care to fill me in buttercup? I think your grandmama needs a little granny nap. Just look at the poor thing, she looks stressed."

"I'm not stressed, Gayle. I'm wondering why my fucking granddaughter thinks she can move out without saying anything after she's been gone for days on end," your grandmother seethes.

And Gayle looks back at you, "Well I'm guessing she found a better place to stay at and as for her being gone for days on end, well she is an adult. Besides, we were young once and I do remember a certain someone running off to Mexico without telling her parents... What was it, three... No, it was five months. Loosen your asshole Cat and maybe that stick will finally fall the fuck out."

You purse your lips and look down as Gayle keeps landing one blow after another. You hadn't expected her to show up and least of all put your grandmother down so fucking hard.

Everyone here is silent, waiting for anyone one of you three to say something but your grandmother is silent and seething and you're too shocked and speechless.

"Come on Kitty Cat, let's go have some margaritas while your grandbaby moves on out. I know she'll be a dear and clean up after herself," Gayle shoves your grandmother inside and grins at you.

Jes slowly approaches your side and places a hand on your shoulder, "I don't know what they hell just happened, but that was fucking beautiful."

"That would be Gayle and thank the gods she got here when she did," you smile and shake your head before looking around for Tao.

His eyes meet yours and you beckon him over, "Alright, I guess we can get moving."

Things go fast from there on out. You and Jes pack up your clothes and toiletries while the guys move the little bit of furniture that you have and pack your books and such into the boxes. You tidy up any messes that are left behind as Gayle escorts your grandmother out of the house and away for drinks.

Once everything's been loaded into the moving van, everyone makes their way to Tao's house. You and Jes make a pit stop to grab some charcoal and sodas to celebrate your move out move in situation.

Arty, Kirk and the others move everything into the living room while Tao and Jes prep for the barbeque and you kind of just sit around. Word moved around that you're still healing from getting dragged out to sea and no one will allow you to lift a finger.

Kirk swings by a few times to ask where certain boxes can go and a few of Arty's friends check in to see if you're alright and you smile and play off that just sitting around isn't driving you up the wall.

Tao comes by ever so often to make sure you're ok but you feel like there's some distance between the both of you right now. You start over thinking things, like maybe he's nervous about talking about who he chose or maybe he's trying to draw out the move in so he doesn't have to talk to you about it today.

You start to silently spiral into your darkest thoughts as the late afternoon drifts into the evening. Tao mans the barbeque pit that you had no idea that he had while Jes keeps you company with snacks and work gossip. You try your best to be present but there's this nagging feeling that something's not right.

Tao eventually comes upstairs and brings you food, his touch linger just a little longer than it should on your hand before he quickly slips away. You feel a strange chill and try not to cry over your food.

It smells good but you're too upset to eat and Jes can tell.

"Talk girly pop, you look like you're about to fall apart right now," she nudges you and you set the paper plate aside.

"Did he say anything to you? Did Tao mention anyth-"

"Ok I'm going to stop you right there. I told you he told me everything earlier today. And I mean everything. I think you need to chill out princess, I know it's hard for you right now but just trust me ok?" she looks at you and picks up your plate and hands it back to you.

"Now then, you're going to eat and whenever your merjerk gets his happy ass up here we'll tell him you're tired and I'll help kick everyone out and then you'll get a little one on one time with him. Sounds good?" She smiles and takes a big bite out of her burger.

You stare at your food for a few moments before you slowly dig in. After the second bite you realize just how hungry you really are and kind of tune out the rest of the world as you scarf down your food.

After a while Tao does come up and Jes tells him you're tired and that she'll gather everyone up and head out. Jes hugs you goodbye and makes a quick exit leaving you and Tao alone for the first time in hours.

"I uh... I should probably go rinse off before I head to bed," you shrug.

But when you go to stand up, Tao ends up scooping you up in his arms and just holds you for a good long while.

"Uh Tao?" you tap his shoulder and he holds you tighter.

"Sorry... I- I'm so sorry," he apologizes out of nowhere.

"Wait for what?" you ask.

"I almost did something unforgiveable... I almost... I almost let my instincts take over and I-I didn't want to hurt her but I couldn't stand just being there in front of her... I don't know what would have happened if you didn't show up when you did," Tao admits as he presses his face against your neck.

You remember how tense he looked glaring daggers at your grandmother but you never would have guessed that he would have gone aggro.

"It's ok I guess, you did hold back and it looked like Kirk was ready to stop whatever smackdown might have happened," you chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

Tao squeezes you and shakes his head, "No, it's not ok... I could have gotten deported if things escalated. If that happens, I wouldn't be able to see you again."

Hearing that makes your heart stop for a moment. He shouldn't say sweet things like that to you, he shouldn't make you feel this important when you're probably not the one he chose.

In that moment you feel yourself becoming cold, distancing your heart away from Tao. It'll be easier if I think he's already rejected me, you reason with yourself. Just act like friends and only friends.

"Yeah, yeah... don't do shit to get deported, but like I said, you held back. All's well that ends well," you shrug and wiggle out of his arms. "I'm gonna jump in the shower and head to bed, I'm worn the fuck out."

Tao looks at you like you've just burned him, "Didn't you want to talk once you got moved in?"

You look around and shrug, "Yeah, I mean I still gotta put everything up and figure out where to put my furniture."

Tao inhales sharply and you see his jaw tick, "Right, of course... Try to get some rest then."

Smiling, you dismiss yourself and head towards the bathroom. Once you've closed and locked the door, you fall to the floor and crumple. You silently cry into your hands feeling bother relieved and horrified. You're free of your grandmother but now you've gone and got yourself into this new mess.

After sometime and nearly fall asleep on the floor, you finally move to go shower off. You quickly rinse off and wrap yourself in a towel to head to the nest room but you nearly jump out of your skin when you see Tao standing outside the bathroom.

His dour expression makes your already cold skin shiver. His eyes practically glow in rage and you see the tips on his claws digging into his skin.

Before you can ask him what's wrong he grabs your wrist and tugs you along to the nest room. He tells you to hurry and get dressed and to grab a pair of shoes. You ask why and all he says is that you two need to talk, tonight.

You contemplate taking your time getting dressed but you feel like if you do that then Tao might come bursting through the door and pick out whatever for you to wear. With great reluctance you tug on a sweatshirt and pajama pants and grab a pair of sandals.

When you shuffle out of the room Tao beckons you to follow him and he leads you out of the house.

"Tao where are we going? Can't we just go back inside and talk?" you ask as you follow him down the stairs.

"No," he says flatly and once you're down the stairs he takes your hand and guides you wherever the hell it is he's taking you.

After a few minutes you enter the beach area he works at. He takes you to the tower and before you know it, he's stripping down to his swim trunks.

"Really, what the hell is going on T-"

"Leave your sandals here, I'll put them up there with my clothes," he says, cutting you off.

You gape at him and stand your ground, "How about you tell me why the hell you dragged me all the way out here to just talk?"

"Because..." Tao exhales and turns to you, finally looking at you since you exited the bathroom. "Out there we can't run away, we won't be able to avoid each other and whatever has to be said. I can't keep pretending like everything between us is ok when I keep hearing you cry knowing I might have caused any of that grief."

You look out towards the ocean and feel your gut sink. It felt too soon to go back out there, your wounds itch at the thought. You feel your chest tighten and breathing becomes just a little harder.

"No, please Tao, not there... Not yet," you plead with him.

His stern look softens a bit and he lowers himself to kneel in front of you, "There's nothing in there to be afraid of, I promise."

"I-I can't do it, please, anywhere else," you beg again.

Tao lowers his head and groans before hoisting you up into his arms. For a moment you think he's going to walk you into the ocean but he just keeps walking.

His pacing is slower than usual and he holds you with a gentleness that seems out of place with how pissed off he looks. After a minute or two you end up dozing off in his arms. It's a light sleep and one you're easily woken from.

Tao sets you down ever so carefully on soft sweet smelling grass and you almost fall asleep again but he holds you up right and keeps your attention on him.

"We need to talk," he tells you again.

"I know," you say, looking down at the grass before looking around at your surroundings.

You'd been here before, back when the pixies were celebrating and you and Tao danced right into the ocean.

"Is here fine?" he asks, cupping your face. His eyes now glowing in the moonlight search your face to make sure you're comfortable.

You shrug and look away from him, "Yeah...yeah it's fine."

Tao sighs and sits across from you, "I used to think you were annoying you know."

You roll your eyes and glare at him.

"To be fair I used to think everyone was annoying, and then we started talking... I started to get to know you and you slowly opened up my world. I had been here for two years before I met you and the only people I really interacted with are those that I had to," Tao starts, his voice softer than usual.

"It felt odd how quickly I opened up to you. I was worried that you'd find me too strange or that I...I wasn't someone you'd want to be around. And then when we became friends it just felt even more unreal. I had a shoal mate again, I had someone in my life that didn't have to be there but they chose to," Tao smiles, though his eyes look sad.

"And then we made that agreement... to date each other. You're grandmother would leave you alone and I would get some sort of practice on how to romance a human if my fated mate ended up being one. I think that's when things got more complicated," He sighs and takes your hand.

For a moment you don't register that he's touching you, that he's gently squeezing your fingers. Your mind is too deep into readying your heart for the impending rejection.

Tao squeezes your hand again and places a hand on your cheek, "We are not here to further any pain, this I swear... so please, look at me."

You think about shoving away from Tao but that just might prolong this interaction. You know facing it head on will be the best course of action, rip it off like a band aid and be done with this so you can go cry into a pillow when he's not around, preferably while he's at work. Gods know that he'd be super obnoxious about you being emotional.

So you look at him, your eyes heavy and feeling dry from crying for however long you did earlier.

"Little by little I felt this strong desire, this need to be closer to you. I thought at first that it was my natural and instinctual obligation to protect the only shoal mate I have. But then things started to change, you were more than just this woman I saw on the beach ever so often or a friend I'd see nearly everyday. It got to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about you and-" Tao stops, his voice having grown horse and the hands that are holding you start to shake.

Your heart breaks and melts all at once as you watch Tao come undone right in front of you. His eyes are shut tight as it looks like he's fighting the tears that are slipping from underneath his lashes. His teeth grind and his grip on your hand tightens as he takes a long and shaky breath.

"I never meant to hurt you... I just, I couldn't tell you... couldn't let you go... But I didn't know, I didn't know what I was feeling and then I saw what I was doing to you... I felt like I didn't deserve any sort of forgiveness... I still don't think I deserve it... Not after what I've done," He lowers his head and tries to take his hands back but you don't let him.

"What did you do Tao?" you ask, your voice firm but just as emotional. "What did you do?"

Tao tries again to take his hands away but you won't let him budge.

"Finish what you started! You wanted to talk? We're talking Tao! What did you do?" you say once more, getting up in his face this time.

Tao tries to move back but you follow until you're pretty much straddling him and fisting his shirt.

"You're not going anywhere Tao. Fuck me trying to run away you hypocrite! What are you afraid of? That I'd hate you or leave you or some shit? News flash buddy, you're my best fucking friend and I can't afford to move out so just say whatever you fucking did so we can just be done and over wi-"

"I knew," Tao says, still looking away from you.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific than that," you sneer.

"Jes told me a long while ago how you felt about me," he adds.

You feel your heart sink as his shirt slips from your grasp.

"She told me that it was just a crush, you being somewhat interested in me and I... I chose to ignore it. She told me again and again how you felt and I kept choosing to ignore it until she slapped me across the face one day and... I didn't know what I had done, what my choice in ignoring your feelings had done to you, to us..." He finally looks at you and the whites of his eyes have turned black.

"You knew... And you ignored it?" your lips quiver as you're uncertain how to feel right now but for some reason you can't help but to laugh.

You laugh so hard you start tearing up.

"You fucking knew I had some sort of feeling for you but chose to just fucking ignore them, wow!" you chuckle. "That has got to be the most on brand thing you could have done being who you are. You're either really fucking stupid or just that dense!"

You looks down at Tao after coming down from your moment of hysteria and see that he's in total shock, "Well what was it? Stupid or dense?"

He blinks and before you know it he's rolling you both over until your laying in the grass and he's on top, "Probably both, stupid for ignoring your feelings and too dense to understand them. And I don't expect any forgiveness for what I've done but you deserved to know the truth before I tell you who I chose."

You hate this side of him, being way too honest and taking accountability even though he was about to run away. You want to stay mad at him, you want to kick him in the groin and graffiti his lifeguard tower but that won't take away the ache in your chest.

"I don't care about that anymore Tao. It's obvious that you feel bad for playing with my feelings and so on, so let's just leave it at that. We can pretend we never fake dated and just be friends and shoal mates or whatever. Your love life has nothing to do with me," you shrug and do your best to swallow your emotions.

"Unfortunately for you, my love life has everything to do with you," Tao sits up, his golden eyes gleaming and glowing marks appear on his neck and torso. The moon is in an obnoxiously perfect position where it's haloing his head making him look terrifying and somewhat godlike. You feel your heart pounding as he reaches down and gently pulls you up to your feet.

For the first time in a long while you feel Tao towering over you in both a comforting and intimidating way until he kneels before you and takes your hands.

"I've hurt you, ruined your trust in me, and destroyed whatever relationship we had. And now, as you humans say, I'm about to add salt to the wound. The one that I chose, the one that my heart chose, that person is you," Tao confesses.

You shake your head as you start to feel faint.

"I wanted you as my mate," he says.

Mate...

That was the last word you heard before you passed out.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Got You Good, Kid

Day #15 - Let's Talk About That | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Smoking, Mentions of Unplanned Pregnancy, Eddie Being a Bit Lot of a Dick | POV: Gareth | Pairing: Gareth/OFC (Off-Screen), Background Steddie | Tags: Modern Day Setting, Road Manager Steve Harrington, Eddie and Gareth are BFFs, But Gareth's Keeping Secrets, So They're Fighting, Fucking Interviewers, Fucking Paparazzi, Fucking Eddie

Gareth adjusts the mic on his collar. Beside him, Eddie's fidgeting, Jeff is texting and Goodie's head is tipped back like he's sleeping or counting the ceiling tiles. 

It's the usual press junket. The same ten questions they all answer, over and over again. It's a goddamn bore. 

"One more question," the journalist says. 

She turns her iPad towards them. It's a picture of Gareth, standing on a sidewalk, a lit cigarette in his hand.

Yeah, he smokes when he's stressed sometimes, sue him. 

"Any comment?" 

Eddie leans forward, looking more closely, "Yeah. Don't smoke, kids."

Everybody laughs, and Gareth thinks that's it, until the reporter swipes to the left and another picture fills the screen. Eddie's not looking at the screen anymore. Now, Eddie's looking at Gareth.

Steve comes in out of fucking nowhere, "No comment. We're done here."

And they are. The room is cleared, and they make a quiet trip back to the hotel. 

Only after the door closes, does Eddie wheel on him.

"What the fuck is going on? Did you get a girl pregnant, and what? Just not tell any of us?" 

Gareth quickly looks at Steve, and Eddie doesn't miss the flick of his eyes.

"Oh, you're fucking kidding me. Steve knew? Before me?" 

And Gareth can't really determine if Eddie's mad that he's gonna be a dad or that Steve knew before he did. 

"He's Steve. He manages everything. I was waiting until the tour was over to tell you."

"Are you with her?" Eddie asks. "Is this why you've been bailing on us?"

"We're taking it slow," Gareth answers. He likes her. Could love her. But they agreed to focus on this first.

"Yeah, looks real slow to me."

"And I haven't bailed. I haven't missed shit."

"Eddie," Steve says, trying to rein Eddie in before he's too revved up.

Too late.

"How goddamn stupid are you? She got you good, kid."

Gareth clenches his fists, instantly mad, because that's not true. Not at all. He doesn't think this was some scheme to baby trap him and milk him for money. Corroded Coffin is famous, but they aren't so rich and famous that he'd be a mark for that kind of plotting. 

He had a one night stand, and she got pregnant. She told him. They made the decision together to proceed.

"That's not fucking true. The condom didn't work." 

"That's convenient. She probably poked holes in it."

"Well, it was mine, so..."

Eddie just stares at him, before finally saying, "Mark my words, because you're definitely getting an 'I told you so' when you're nothing but a checkbook and never see this kid."

"Eddie," Steve warns, and Eddie turns on him.

"And you? Not telling me."

"It wasn't for me to tell," Steve says, calmly. Because Eddie can't ruffle Steve's feathers, not like he can Gareth's. Steve won't allow it. There's no steamrolling of Steve Harrington by Eddie Munson.

"She looks like she's about ready to pop! How long have you known?" Eddie demands. 

Gareth's known for months. He just didn't know how to tell Eddie, because Eddie would be worried about the tour, the album, and everything else that affects Eddie. 

Gareth knows Eddie loves him, but Eddie still thinks he's a kid that needs tending to, even if that hasn't been true in years. 

"A while."

"Where does this girl even live?"

"She's a woman. We're both over thirty, yet you're acting like I preyed on a groupie."

Steve interjects, "I'm in contact with her dad, he's a lawyer. We're getting the parenting plan hammered out so Gareth can co-parent."

"Co-parent a kid from where?" Eddie repeats.

"Omaha."

"Omaha. That's great. Convenient for us all." 

"Well, it's centrally located," Steve offers. They both ignore him.

"She probably sold those pictures. No paps were in fucking Omaha."

"I think it was probably a fan…" Steve trails off, trying to bring reason to an unreasonable fight.

"I don't know what you want me to do, Eddie. I can't unring this bell."

And, honestly, he doesn't want to.

"You were smoking near her. Good job, dad."

"Did you see her when I was smoking? Fucking no. Because she wasn't there yet. Goddamn. You judgmental asshole."

Eddie huffs dramatically, "This is a fucking mess. If Steve wants to help, that's fine. But I'm not."

Gareth nods as Eddie storms off, and he'll come around. Gareth can't have a kid Eddie won't have anything to do with.

This'll blow over. It has to.

But Eddie's still mad. Weeks later. After the show, Steve's waiting with a smile, "You're having a baby. Wheels up in an hour."

"Oh shit," Gareth says, "too early?"

"No," Steve says, "just unwilling to consult the tour schedule. Already rude, just like you."

Gareth laughs, and runs towards the dressing room to shower. He passes Eddie without a word, but tells Jeff and Goodie the news.

Eddie pretends he doesn't hear, and Gareth can't dwell on the fact that he's losing his best friend. Has maybe already lost him. 

His daughter is coming, no matter how Eddie feels.

And an hour later, when Gareth is climbing the stairs of the borrowed private plane, Steve is the one behind him. Jeff and Goodie, already on board. 

The plane is crawling across the tarmac, when Goodie speaks, "Hey, wait, there's Eddie."

Sure enough, Eddie's on one of those little carts, being shuttled by airport staff, arms waving.

They must radio for the pilot to stop, and Eddie eventually slides into the seat next to Gareth.

"So, we're having a baby," Eddie says, and that's enough of an apology for now, because he needs Eddie.

There's a beat, and then Eddie asks, "Are you sure it's yours? You've never been early a day in your life."

Gareth laughs, "I'm sure. She must get that from her mom."

Eddie smiles, "We're having a girl?"

Gareth nods.

Eddie leans over and kisses Gareth's head, "Sorry, I'm late."

It's okay. Gareth thinks he's right on time.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

Notes: Lord, I think one was edited and changed and fiddled with the most to stay at 1000 words but say everything I wanted to say. Take away ten, add twenty-seven. Rinse, repeat. There was a whole flash-forward at the end that just had to go for word count reasons. But just know. It works out, for all of them. ❤️

[f1shart]

i am Hearing you Out on Tankbalt. me and bro when we're traumatized teens forced to carry the curse of being too much like our parents and not enough at the same time. please go on

EVERYTHING TANKBALT HAS IN COMMON

rambling under the cut. aha

both the oldest brother with two younger siblings and are the strongest out of them (IGNORING TANK'S 0 BODY POINTS) - you could say they take on the protector role

The Anger

both cover their faces

neurodivergent coded. one camouflages and the other masks come the fuck ON

they have one signature color (which are complementary fyi 💚❤️)

both involved in family feuds though the grunt-smith one is much smaller in scale. also they both have a really gay obsession with a boy from their opposing clan

dead moms that are a key factor in their unbridled Rage

on the topic of family, they both also have a male parental figure that has both a heavy overall influence on them and encourages them to partake in the feud (in consort's case you could argue he doesnt actually encourage tybalt to beat the shit out of the monty brothers every day, but he also doesn't effectively stop him or even make an effort to. i say "effectively" as a reference to the scene in r&j where capulet calls him a saucy boy for wanting to deal with romeoSORRY IM SO OBSESSED WITH THAT)

going back to the color thing can i also say how both their colors relate heavily to their family/expectations... tank's green is obviously representative of how buzz expects him to pursue a career in the military and center his whole life around it; meanwhile tybalt's red, often the "Capulet color" in many r&j adaptations, represents his very strong allegiance to his clan and how he's like. the only teen in that town to actually give a fuck about the feud

both are fanonically associated with an animal aka angry pussy and perrito encerrado <3 not to mention that the kitty x puppy type ship dynamic is very popular

both technically come from wealthy families? i'm just being logical here - i KNOW the grunts dont have a super mega amount of cash in their bank like the capps (and those guys are a whole different breed of rich..) but generals make a fuckton of money irl so just imagine the accumulated wealth of wholeass generations of them!! plus, buzz often gets this one chance card that, if you choose correctly, he brings home §50,000. if u get that one make sure to choose to launch a missile at the thingy (asteroid?) btw

what if we dove into fanon real quick..you could sayyy they both have physical signs of their trauma ^_^ for tybalt, it's his burn scars from escaping the fire that killed his parents when he was young and additionally having to save his even younger sisters. for tankernaut there's a couple of things you could argue: 1. his ptosis. i typically depict it as a congenital thing mysef but perhaps it's stress-induced? from my 5-second google search i've concluded that this isn't possible as a permanent affliction but first of all Fuck Realism, secondly it could be a thing that just appears every once in a while when he's reeeally going through it. and 2. his funny bone injury mentioned in gba/ds, presumably obtained on the battlefield. i've also seen tank depicted with more intense scarring (shoutout to my boy mash) but yap yap NEXT POINT?!??

hmmmmm ah. i think my brain juice's all fixzled oit.... hm. both are whi..te...???

both reeeaalllyy gay like fag asf. quite possibly the gayest boys of the sim franchise

TANKBALT GALLERY

[stop-talking]

How do you think jhutch characters would handle a baby?

I'm not quite sure if you're asking "what would they do if you handed them a baby" or "what would they do if you told them you're pregnant" but I'm gonna assume you meant the latter. (feel free to send another request if I got it wrong)

Ranking Jhutch characters from worst to best fathers:

Billy

☆ Would play dumb when you hand him the pregnancy test.

☆ "What's this? Oh, you're pregnant? Can't be mine. My pull-out game is too strong." (literally has NO pull-out game, refuses to use condoms because he "can't feel" with them on)

☆ Basically ghosts you until the paternity test proves it's his. Then he actually ghosts you.

☆ Drops off the face of the fucking Earth for years. Doesn't pay a dime in child support.

☆ Maybe he comes back like 3 years later drunk and demanding to see "his" kid idk. Literally the worst.

Derek

☆ Honestly I headcannon he had a vasectomy at like 24-25.

☆ His mom hit him up once she heard about his prostitute scandals and chewed him out. Gave him "the talk" even though he's a grown ass man... finally got him to get snipped when she brought up the possibility of paying income-based child support for 18 years.

☆ Assuming he doesn't have one, though...

☆ He'd initially be mad and blame you. "I thought you were on the pill!!"

☆ Then he'd be like "Is it too late to... you know... get rid of it?" (and kind of dance around the subject because he's too much of a wimp to just say the word abortion)

☆ Wallace and his mom would both force him to get his shit together and apologize. Eventually he'd come to terms with the fact he's gonna be a dad.

☆ He'd be the kind of bastard to throw an over-the-top gender reveal party. The kind that burns down half of California or pollutes a major water channel.

☆ I think he'd be a really good girl dad. He'd let her paint his nails and stuff. Spoil her. <3

☆ He would treat a son completely differently. Teach him to "be a man" or whatever when he's still learning to walk. Force him into random ass sports.

☆ He'd have them mostly taken care of by a nanny. That's probably how he was raised, anyways. Derek Danforth is NOT changing a diaper.

Futturman

☆ Whether we're talking pre-show or post-show, he'd freak the fuck out if you handed him a positive pregnancy test. I'm talking full-on pass out.

☆ Pre-show Josh would be like "Babe we can NOT afford a baby I literally live at home with my parents and work as a janitor."

☆ His parents would be so crazy supportive though. They've been hinting that they want grandkids for YEARS.

☆ They literally clear out a room IMMIDEATELY after hearing the news and offer it to you to use as a nursery.

☆ His mom buys you more baby clothes than you could possibly need. His dad builds a crib from scratch.

☆ Overall Josh is stressed asf but he does his best to be there for you, and his parents are OVERWHELMIGLY supportive.

☆ Post-show Josh, on the other hand, doesn't have that support. But he's survived unspeakable horrors across multiple dimensions, how hard could a baby be?

☆ Extremely hard, apparently. One day he just loses it and makes a huge decision without asking you.

☆ "Josh WTF happened to our savings??"

☆ "TRUST ME BABE we need to invest in Apple!!"

☆ You're pissed but it pays off in a few years and you're both able to live comfortably.

☆ Then in 2015-ish he did the same thing again, pouring all your savings into bitcoin. This time you SWEAR you're going to leave him, but it all pays out in the end. He gets your kid through college with that money.

☆ Overall he's a really good father, too. He had great parents, and even if he's not experienced with kids, he's naturally a very caring and attentive person.

Mike

☆ Cries when he sees the pregnancy test. He's not even sure if it's happy or sad tears.

☆ Gets sick to his stomach overthinking about how he's going to be a terrible father. His dad walked out on him, so he has literally no idea how to act.

☆ Abby, on the other hand, is absolutely delighted. She's always wanted a "little sister". Mike has to remind her that technically it's her niece. Or nephew. There's no guarantee on the gender yet.

☆ Eventually he comes to terms with it all. He's taken care of Abby for ten years, he isn't completely clueless.

☆ Takes you to all of your Dr.'s appointments, checkups, etc. Holds your hand. Makes all of your weird pregnancy cravings and doesn't judge.

☆ After the birth, he lets you rest. Nearly works himself to death trying to take care of the baby all on his own because he wants you to recover.

☆ I'm talking getting up bleary-eyed at 2am every night to microwave some formula and feed the baby. After working a 10 hour shift.

☆ Pulls the "I have a baby on the way" card at work in an attempt to get a raise. It works, thankfully. (In the novel version of the movie; it says he gets a job as a contractor at the end. So hopefully he can afford a kid...)

----------♡----------

[Remember: these are just MY headcannons. If you think differently that's fine. I didn't include Clapton because he's literally in highschool... and we all know Peeta is an amazing father.]

[liquidstar]

SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Once again I have so many thoughts, but very limited time to express them, so will attempt to make my swirling brain come up with something coherent.

I am finding it interesting to see all the different reactions to Dangerous Romance this week. To be clear, I am the kind of person who rarely has expectations going into a show, and am much more a "meh, let's see where the journey takes us" kind of watcher. I'm also very much still in my "yay, queer content" phase, and if it means looking at Perth for an hour a week, I'm probably going to be happy. (Not that I'm never disappointed, do I think Big Dragon needed about 200% more BDSM? Yes, yes I do.)

I do totally respect when a show isn't working for some people. That said, I am completely fine with the pacing, because what I am seeing, is a fuck-ton of setup.

Sure, the bullying has stopped, but now we know Kang is capable of being very dark and cruel, especially when there is something making him feel powerless in his life. He also has a weakness around Sailom, and is still trying to exert control, just in a new way.

Yeah, Sailom only had to escort once before getting back to tutoring, but Name literally followed him to his place of work, AND confirmed for himself that Sailom will accept a job like that with very little pushback - meaning if he gets even more desperate, it won't take much to push him further. Name is not going to do nothing with that information.

And I get if people feel like Saifah and Sailom should be freaking out more about their situation, but I kind of feel like that's purposeful? Saifah is an ass. He acts like everything is no big deal, because his little brother is going to be the one busting his butt to save them. He plays the part of the benevolent loving older brother, he buys treats for Sailom, but if it's a choice between Sailom getting beaten or himself, he's fine if it's Sailom.

And I may really be getting in the clown car here, but...who gets an injury that puts them in a desperate situation right at the worst time, when Sailom loses his tutoring job? Who would be in the best position to tell Name where Sailom works, and that Sailom will be easy to convince to accept an offer?

And right now Sailom is still in his "I adore my older brother" phase. It's been just the two of them for so long. He doesn't act stressed in front of Saifah, because when he told Saifah he lost his tutoring job, Saifah's response was, "yeah, rich people suck, huh". He's learned to hide his feelings, because his brother is an ass who will not take them seriously, and his friends will immediately want to try to help him - and he doesn't want help he doesn't feel he's earned. So yeah, we're not seeing his mask slip much yet - but I think we will. He will hit his breaking point.

Ok, and this is where I need to talk about the bubble. Because, yeah, Kang was snapped out of his when he saw Sailom getting beaten. But now - he's just in another one. One where he has accepted his money can't buy Sailom, but where he believes his money can protect Sailom. And right now? Sailom is joining him in this bubble. Why wouldn't he? It feels warm and safe and there's a cute boy inside. They can play games and work by candlelight. (I mean, c'mon, Kang literally put the boy in a VR helmet).

But this bubble, like the first one, is going to burst. And it's going to be rough for both of them.

[icarus-suraki]

1, 7, and 9 for the movie ask!

It occurs to me that I could just answer Goncharov (1972) for all of these…

Movie Questions Ask Bait!

->what is your favorite film of all time? Very possibly Mad Max: Fury Road. That movie rewired my brain. That movie scraped the rust off my soul. That movie sneaked up behind me and stole my spine. And it was great.

I literally went to see it in the theater seven (7) times. Seven. If you dig back in my blog here to June 2015, you'll see that this place was full of Fury Road. Stills, gifs, music, meta, fic, shitposts, all of it. All of it.

Sidebar: I think my absolute love of Fury Road is what's keeping me from wanting to see the new Furiosa prequel: Fury Road didn't explain everything to death so we, the fandom, had a great time imagining explanations or making things up. We dissected that movie and we also left it alone. I don't want to know too much. I like that world being left a partial mystery. We, like Max, get thrown into it and we're both figuring out how it works as the story progresses. I love that.

I can't exactly explain why I love it so much. The colors, the action, the fight scenes, the music (holy shit the music), the characters, the weirdness, the story itself, the callbacks and parallels, the newness and the oldness of it (it really is a train robbery movie at its core), the sense (ultimately) of hope, the presences of women (old women even!) in action roles… Something about it, maybe everything about it, were just perfect for me at that time and in that place.

Yeah. Favorite movie ever.

->name a movie you’re emotionally attached to? There's so many ways I could take this. Positive attachment? Negative attachment? Very Strange Time in My Life attachment?

Like, I know I can never watch L'Illusionniste, Les Triplettes de Belleville, or Grave of the Fireflies again because I cried just too fucking hard at each of them, which I think is an emotional attachment.

Or I could say the Lord of the Rings movies (all of them). They came out when I was in college and a handful of us were counting down the days to the premiere, watching this miniscule clip of video taken by a fan from a train that showed a glimpse of the Minas Tirith set endlessly, gobbling up any news or leak or rumor about production on Livejournal, engaging in the fandom of that era (which was a whole thing in and of itself), even going to midnight local premiers. So while I'm not a huge fan of the movies, they certainly were a constant presence in my undergrad days.

Or it could be the other movies that rewired my brain: Mad Max: Fury Road (see above), Princess Mononoke (baby's first Studio Ghibli film in 1999 at the local art house theater), Star Wars (only episodes 4, 5, and 6 though; I kind of deny that any others exist), Kiki's Delivery Service (which I had on VHS in college and would watch when I was stressed and depressed because I love the city), Voices of a Distant Star (the concept really got me)…

Or it could be the kids' movies from my own childhood, you know? Robin Hood (1973) is very near and dear to my heart. And Panda and the Magic Serpent is what started me down the weaboo road way back when I was 6 years old.

There's so many possible answers here. But that's a few movies I have emotional attachments to. How's that?

->guilty pleasure movie? Do I have to? Okay, okay, okay: I like a good cheesy, gory giallo movie, red tempra paint blood and all. Spaghetti westerns are amazing with their half-understandings or misunderstandings of USAmerican history to the point that it becomes something different, something bigger and more epic (I love The Good, The Bad and the Ugly so much). Martial arts movies full of dramatic scenes and wire-fu are so much fun (and I get to practice my Mandarin or my Japanese). Gothic drama, especially from the 1990s, is great like the original IwtV, Crimson Peak, The Crow…

But I paid actual, real, hard-earned money for a (digital) copy of Bloodsport and it's so bad. It's so bad! But I love it--maybe as much for meta reasons as anything.

Like, the whole thing is based on this Canadian-American guy Frank Dux's memoirs about being trained in ninjutsu by a mysterious Senzo "Tiger" Tanaka (who probably didn't exist at all and has the same name as a character in You Only Live Twice) and then going on to compete in this international full-contact underground martial arts competition in Hong King (the "Kumite"). Oh and he was also in the military at the time, doing covert missions, so he had to go AWOL to fight in this competition of course. Which he does without being caught. And he keeps outsmarting the CID officers (one of whom is played by a young Forest Whitaker) when they chase him to Hong Kong, meanwhile picking up an April O'Neill-style beautiful American journalist ("reporter" because it's the 1980s).

The whole thing is so clearly ridiculous bullshit but it's marketed as being based on a true story because Frank Dux insisted his bullshit was true. And it was produced by Cannon Films, which is another can of worms entirely (I highly recommend the documentary Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films for more backstory on the company; it is bonkers). And did I mention that Frank Dux is played by Jean-Claude van Damme? And yes he does do the most epic of splits.

And the whole thing is simultaneously so deep in meta layers (self-proclaimed martial arts masters, which ties into Count Dante and the dojo wars, Frank Dux's amazing bullshit and stolen valor, Cannon Films) and yet so incredibly shallow at the same time.

There's minimal plot, zero depth to the characters, massively long flashback sequences, even longer training montages, a totally ridiculous amalgamation of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean cultures into just "Asian Culture," the dubbing in some scenes is practically criminal, there's minimal exploration of the location (Hong fucking Kong!!!) outside of a chase and a throwaway scene about bad restaurant food, and even the fight scenes during the tournament aren't really all that great.

But the Kowloon Walled City gets some screentime (except that it's just a set sometimes). And there are tons of locally-hired extras and bit players, along with a slew of international actors and/or actual martial artists, even if a lot of them have been cast as nationalities other than their own???--like Bernard Mariano, who is Filipino by descent but was born in Hong Kong, had no martial arts experience but got scouted while he was working out, was cast as a "Middle Eastern" fighter named Hossein, but used his pay from the movie for university classes to go on to be an English teacher in Hong Kong. Meanwhile, Jean-Claude van Damme is busy taking his shirt off and wearing super tight spandex underwear (he snaps them in one scene; you're welcome). Leah Ayres is a "reporter," which is really "journalist" and one of the few adventurous jobs acceptable for women in 1980s movies to have, who maybe lives in Hong Kong or maybe doesn't but she's super cute and deserves better than she got in the script; she's The Girl (Leah Ayres is now into pseudoscience). And Donald Gibb is playing this American bar brawler who somehow got invited to this elite fighting tournament and he looks like Kurt Russell in The Thing if he were still infected by the Thing and living out on the ice alone.

Like, I could just keep going. I love this shit. There is so little that's "good" in terms of filmmaking, scriptwriting, cinematography, anything in this movie and yet it entertains the fuck out of me.

Hence: guilty pleasure film.

[zoe-is-amazingg]

Could I request maybe Steve or Billy or JJ (I’m so sorry I’m so indecisive) where you’re at a party and a guy is being strange and invading personal bubble and Steve/Billy/JJ (whichever) steps in and is like jealous but justifiably and is just protective or however you think they’d react?

I’m so sorry and I hope this is okay, this is my first time requesting something and I feel like I’m about to sweat from stress and nerves

Too Close For My Liking Man

JJ Maybank X F!Cameron!Reader

W/C - 1.0K

Summary - Some guy is invading your space and JJ doesn't approve.

Warnings - Angst, fluff, swearing, alcohol use and alcohol + drug mention and that's abt it i think!

You toss around in your bed sheets as you hear booming music over the speakers Rafe set up in the house. Fuck him. You had a test at school tomorrow and you did not need this. Rafe didn't understand, he fails school and Dad still pays him money for motorbike fuel and crack. You fail and he'll disown you. Rafe was so privileged, and you hated it with every bone in your body.

Your phone buzzes on the nightstand, you sigh and turn it on.

Sare-Bear 🐻

Babes, you need to come down here rn. Rafe is going to kill you.

Why?

Your little crush arrived.

Shit. Read 11:23 am

--------

You put a proper tight dress that you had for any occasion, you weren't about to show up in a baggy T-shirt and worn-out jeans. 'Your little crush arrived.' She meant JJ, a pouge. She was right, Rafe will kill you. As long as you reach JJ before he does. You put on heels and walk out of your room and down the stairs.

"Hey! Hey! Y/N! I was hoping to see you here!" JJ exclaims as he brushes your shoulder with his fingertips. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" You half yell, you grab his wrist and lead him into your bedroom.

"We're already in your room princess? I thought you would've had some drinks first before we got in this position." He smirks. You shake your head and try to not say something back like you usually would. He looks at your bookshelf and scans the books with his fingers. "Answer the question." You mutter out.

"Uh, I'm here because the pouge were having drinks at the chateau, right? Anyway, Kie and Pope went somewhere and John B, I don't even fucking know, but I turned on the TV and started thinking about us!" He explains and you tilt your head ever so slightly at him. "In what way?"

"Well, we flirt, all the fucking time right, so what if we were more." He asks, taking a step closer to you, you were still at the door, fingers crossed no one will come in and ask why you had a man-whore of a pouge in your room. "Uh, two things, one, my dad will kill me, two, Rafe would kill both of us."

"But I just think that you're so pretty and th-""Look, JJ, I really am flattered, but we will never work, you're a pouge, I'm a kook and my parents and sibling will kill my ass." You interrupt him and he nods. He looks so sad; you would do anything just to make this moment never exist. Fuck the test tomorrow you just broke a friendship with someone who meant some much to you and as what he is saying to you makes so much sense to your heart it doesn't as much to your brain.

He steps closer to you and places a kiss on your lips so softly and breaks the kiss. You really wanted more, but you wanted alcohol more now. "Bye, Y/N." JJ mumbles as he leaves. Shit. Shit. Shit. You wish with everything that you could retake those words and never of said them in the first place. You wish that you let him finish his goddamned sentence.

You slowly walk out of your room and down the stairs. You walk into the kitchen and find a bottle of Malibu and slowly pour out shots for yourself until a guy comes around and slowly starts making small talk with you. "So, what are you doing all alone?" He asks you.

"I actually live here for your information." You slur. He smirks at your remarks and cups your elbow. He tries to pull you in, but you push away. "Have you had one to many, princess? I didn't know you lived here." You sigh and push off the counter and try to go to the bathroom, but he stops you and holds your waist.

As soon as he said princess, that's when you wanted nothing to do with him. It reminded you too much of the friend you just lost about thirty minutes prior to when he came around. Fuck, you really couldn't get out of talking to him, could you?

"So, are you dating someone? Or are you mine for the taking?" The guy asks and you nod your head. He was holding your waist hard, too hard. You wanted to disappear and never see him again, but as soon as you try pull away, his grasp on you grows stronger.

"I'm-""Taken. By me, so please, step away, you're standing too close for my liking man." You hear JJ say, the look on the creeps' face as he backs away from you and JJ takes you to your own bedroom. You hug him as soon as the door closes and your press a kiss to his forehead. "Thank you so much, I don't know what I would've done without you." You whisper in his ear. As soon as you back away, your eyes go to his lips and his hands slither around your waist. Your lips hover inches away from each other's as you decide to break the gap and kiss him. Your arms twine around his neck and you giggle as you both break the kiss.

"I think we might just make it after all." You smile

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N - Please request things if you want! I have a couple that I am working on but here is the people that I write for ***

Taglist request here **

@idky5

[safetycar-restart]

Could I claim 🍀?

Ooh hybrids in the porn Au. We've talked about bunny Charles.. but what about cat!Max.

At the start, I see him only do shoots that he can hide his tail in or lay down so the camera doesn't catch his ears.

Eventually, you catch on because ofc when 'cat hybrid sucks dick' drops, and people question whether he's an actual cat hybrid or not. You know smth is up.

So you need to chat with him. he gets called into the big boss office. And poor max is stressing. Thinking you are ashamed of him for showing his tail in a video by accident even though he tried his hardest to hide it.

But no, it's the opposite, you praise him for it. Knowing you cant be blunt about it, everytime from then on when a tail or a ear. Or he purrs in a video. Whenever he shows any sign of him being a hybrid in a shoot you praise him when you see him in the halls or when you stay and watch.

You slowly encourage him to be more proud about his hybrid-ness...

Oooo yes I love this!! I love how we're including other AUs in the porn au, it's all so good.

So firstly, I think max would join the porn studio because he really needed money. In fact he'd go to the audition only because he was almost certain he wouldn't be hired. Especially because he says very clearly that he doesn't want his tail and ears in the video, that he wants to pretend to not be a cat hybrid. To his surprise, you not only hire him but also agree to all his terms with no issue.

To you, max is a great hire. He's got a different body type to your other boys. His eyes and lips are just fucking sinful. You know he'd be amazing.

And you're right, he's great, albeit a little shy. You definitely have to pair him up with some others who can really encourage him and get him out of his shell (especially Lando and Mick, they both manage to get Max to open up so well).

That's how it goes for a while, max films and does well and you make sure to let him know that. But, as he required, his cat hybrid status was always kept hidden in the videos.

It's a pity, because cat hybrids are a genre of porn on their own, and even though you already have two cat hybrids, you'd love to have four and be able to make cat hybrid orgy videos. But of course you'd never push max beyond his boundaries, so you keep your desires to have four cat hybrids in videos secret.

You always check every video before it gets posted. The videos are filmed and then the editors edit them and name them and send them to you. You check them and make sure they're up to your standards and then post them.

It's when you're checking videos that you discover the editors have named a video 'cat hybrid sucks dick' and it's one of max's videos. You skim through it and see that max's tail is in view in several scenes.

You like the video, but you're unsure what max will think so you call him into your office. Poor max is practically shaking when he enters your office, so convinced that he's messed something up.

You tell him to sit on the couch with you and put your laptop on the coffee table, showing him the video. Max immediately begins apologising, because all he's ever been told is that his cat hybrid status is shameful and must be hidden. So he thinks that you'd be upset with him for failing to hide it.

But instead, you tell him that you really like the video and you'd love to post it with his permission. Max is so shocked, and he just keeps on repeating that his tail is visible.

It's not until you force him to face you and tell him that you love his tail and he looks so hot in the video, that he realises he hasn't done anything wrong and agrees for the video to be posted.

It's his most popular video to date.

From there, you make sure to praise him every single time he shows off his hybrid status. Even if it's just his ears peaking into frame. You try to be there for most of his shoots, so that you can praise him in person and encourage him to do shots that show off his tail or ears.

Maybe you also tell the others about this so that they can also praise max and help him get more comfortable? Which leads to a video where Carlos is facefucking max and he says "That's a good fucking kitty" to Max which just.... max fucking purrs around his cock.

[palmtreepalmtree]

I honestly don't know if I can do Rosh Hashanah this year. There is so much baggage I'm carrying with my family right now. There's a part of me that just wants to drive away. But I don't think I can do that to my mom, and also that's just avoiding the issues.

The biggest thing is that I haven't really seen my brother-in-law since my niece's bat mitzvah in January. It wasn't intentional, but it wasn't unintentional either. I definitely let it happen. He's been having issues with my sister and while they've reconciled or are working on things, I have not forgiven him or let shit go. I have always had issues with him. But me being me, I always just kept my silence and tried to avoid confrontation.

Then he was unkind to my mom last year in a big family blow up where he complained about how he was treated in our house. As it was, I always felt that I had to work so hard to cater to his ego in our house, and that blow up just made me feel like what was the fucking point. Now more than ever I feel this heightened need to be careful around him. I pretty much just ignored him at the bat mitzvah, but he'll be staying in the house so of course I can't do that now. And apparently ignoring him was part of the problem. I can't believe how much emotional work I am doing to accommodate this person.

And to make matters more complicated, his brother will be visiting from out of town. Our house is pretty full already - I already give up my bedroom to accommodate my sister and brother-in-law. Now this guy is going to be sleeping on the den floor. He's perfectly nice, I guess, (though we're both lawyers and that can be sort of a thing iykyk), but what adult man decides to sleep on a futon in the middle of the house instead of just getting a hotel room? He's a big law lawyer, he can afford it. I would never. I barely want to stay with friends when they have a guest room (am I weird about this btw?).

And then there's my cousin and her in-laws. Firstly, my cousin is sicker all the time with cancer. I think she might be close to the end of her fight. Which is a heartbreaking thing to say about someone I adore, someone I grew up with, who is 45 years old, and has three children in their teens. She is fighting so hard, but she's in treatment three days a week, and she will never stop for the rest of her life. I'm happy she'll be coming, but I worry about her being around the 19 other people.

And then her in-laws are coming, and they are bringing their 100-year-old matriarch, who is a wonderful woman, but she is 100 years old, no one ever talks to her except me and my mom, and I don't know who is risking bringing someone like that around a place with 19 other people right now.

AND my cousin is not on the best terms with her mother-in-law. That's too complicated to get into here, but it's not the most pleasant thing in the world. As it is, they are not my favorite people. We've known them and included them for almost 20 years at this point, and over the years it has become clearer and clearer how different my values are from theirs when it comes to money and society. They're not Trump people, but they're definitely Rick Caruso people.

All of that is the backdrop to this dinner that I will be helping my mom to host for 20 people. She will be very stressed so I expect to get yelled at a lot tomorrow. And we're the type of people who smile and get along and pretend, while seething inwardly.

And it's not just like everyone goes home at the end of the night. I'll still have my brother-in-law and his brother at the house, probably all weekend. And I'm obligated to sit through like four hours of services on Saturday in the middle of this. All while not having my own private space to retreat to at the end of it until the family leaves.

Seriously, the more I type this, the more I think I should just leave. But I would never do that to my mom.

[moonstruckme]

Oh babe I read your post about graduation and life after. I FEEL YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! I’m graduating Friday and I pursued a film degree in a city with little to no opportunities for that industry. Don’t know why I did that. Sorry to my parents who sacrificed a lot to put me through school. Moving to a bigger city is not an option bc I can’t afford it. Might be moving back in with my parents might not be. Everyone is asking whats next for me. Girl idk. I’m stressed I’m anxious. I hate it here. The real world sucks and I just want to skip over all this character building stuff and get to the part of my life where I’m happy with a career and can actually afford groceries. Sometimes I wish my dreams weren’t as big.

Hi gorgeous! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel that way. I promise your degree has value whether you feel like you can get a job out of it right away or not, and I won't pretend to know how your parents feel but I doubt they would have sacrified anything if they didn't feel your education was worthwhile. Graduating from college is a big deal nonetheless ! We both know I'm struggling with this too but I have some pieces of advice that have been given to me and I've found helpful if you want them <3

Obviously, "almost no one works in something related to their degree" is a really disheartening thing to hear, and I bet you've been hearing it (like I have) a lot lately. But what I think the people who say that are trying to convey is that there is no shame in just doing a job that makes some money (and preferably also makes you happy), and sometimes that financial security can help you pursue your dreams with a bit more surety since you're no longer trying to find a way to eat at the same time.

A few months ago, I talked to my mom about how guilty I feel about potentially not being able to get a job relevant to my degree after she helped put me through college, and while I know not all parents feel the same way about this, I think she made some great points. She said that college is about learning how to think, and your education and the experiences you've had in college will always be valuable no matter what job you end up with. And did you have a good time? Did you like learning all those things you did about film? Did you meet some cool friends, or get to talk about your interests with people who get it? If so, none of it was wasted.

It's so, so easy to feel pressure from others when you're trying to figure out your life post-grad, but in my experience most of that pressure is really internal. People ask what's next for you because they're interested, not becuase they have any one specific path in mind, and the vast majority of the time if you seem happy, they're happy. If you're not happy, fuck it! Then your priority should probably be getting to a place where you are happy, and those conversations really don't matter when you've got bigger fish to fry.

Last thing, but as someone also struggling to re-orient herself in her life plan, I've been taking a lot of time to figure out my priorities. I kind of got stuck in this idea of what my life was going to be, and once that seemed less certain I started questioning what I wanted if I didn't have to do that. I'm making a pinterest board (always my first course of action haha), and it's helped me figure out that whatever I do, I want to be around nature and books, and to live in a mid-size city. Figuring out what I need to be happy has really put things into perspective for me, and I'm sorry I don't mean to assume we're in the exact same mental state but I just want to give you all the stuff that's been working for me in case any of it fits into your situation too.

You can still use your passion in film while working another job, or use that job to save to move to a larger city, or maybe even reflect and find that you're content keeping the film thing as a hobby and there's something else you enjoy doing for a career (I know how heartbreaking that can sound when you love something, but that's how writing has turned out for me so I just wanted to put it out there--feel free to reject it of course). For me, trying to open my mind to all the possibilities and re-evaluate what I want from the next few years has been super scary but also kind of exciting, and I hope that whatever happens for you you're able to find happiness in the big and little things. Wishing you all the best my love!

[butch-reidentified]

hello hello my lovely Tumblr gals!

I've been waiting to post about this until it was like, a forreal sure thing, but I'm SO excited I gotta share the news 🤩

soooo as most of you already know, my wife & I both have serious chronic health conditions, which come with severe chronic pain as well as all the other wonderful symptoms. We have been struggling to maintain a life of working full time, doing things we enjoy to keep ourselves sane, taking care of our 6 pets, and also getting chores/errands/tasks done like keeping the house clean, grocery shopping and cooking instead of frozen meals and doordash, etc. A couple weeks ago, I posted an ad on a roommate seeking page to "rent" out our spare bedroom. Except instead of money, the majority of the rent would be "paid" by helping us out with those sorts of tasks to help us live as close to a normal life as possible. I created a scaled system where the more assistance = the more the reduction in rent, with a very low cap on the money side of the rent bc we really don't want to take advantage of anyone or profit off renting out a room, so just enough to cover the basic costs. The goal was to find a mutually beneficial arrangement with someone who needed a place to live without paying the current horrifying rental prices of South FL, and was able bodied and capable of helping us out a bit (on their own schedule, around their other work/obligations).

I posted it pretty impulsively when I had the idea, thinking not many people would see it or respond to it, just sort of putting feelers out to see if there was any interest in that kind of arrangement. I specified female only (and of course got multiple messages from men). First thing the next morning, a woman who looks about my age sends me a message. She and her gf have been urgently looking for housing since the plans they had made had fallen through last minute, after they were already packed and everything with their lease ending at the end of February.

She was 100% good vibes right away. We messaged for a couple hours straight, just got talking, and intermittently throughout the day. It turned out there were so many strange coincidences between us, it was uncanny. And talking to her felt like talking to a close friend of many years, not a total stranger. That first day I talked to her, really good things happened to me the rest of the day. Solutions to problems that had been causing me stress for weeks or months fell into my lap. I'm not spiritual or superstitious or anything for the most part, but sometimes the universe is just screaming in your face that something is right.

We kept texting, and planned a video chat "wine date" to discuss the arrangement and get to know each other better. We talked for hours, past 2am, and it felt so natural. Never an awkward moment. We have very similar couple dynamics, we like the same lifestyle and hobbies, we have the exact same sense of humor and communication style, the first woman I had talked to and I go by the same nickname, their dog and one of our dogs are very similar breed mixes and born almost exactly just 1 month apart... I could go on. I mean we even buy the same brand of vapes 😅 They're clean freaks who enjoy cleaning together, and one of them is super into cooking and likes to keep an herb and vegetable garden (we have a huge backyard and have been longing for a garden for ages). I looked up their post in the group, which was posted weeks before mine, and they were a perfect match. We were looking for the exact same things in a roommate.

The decision was made that first video chat night (there have been more since). They were abso-fucking-lutely going to be our new roomies. I wrote up a unique lease, month to month like we both were looking for, and had it looked over by a lawyer, who said we're good to go. My wife and I have been gushing about them to all our friends and our parents. We've been calling it a "couples crush" 😂 I told them that, and they excitedly admitted they've been doing the same thing. My wife and I have also been so much happier and more productive and active since all this started.

These absolute angels have even offered to help us get the house clean from where it's at now instead of us rushing to deep clean before they arrive. They seem genuinely empathetic and like they want to help 😭 And we feel the same way about their housing and financial situation. We own the home, which means there's an inherent power dynamic when renting out a room, so I worked hard to talk to them and create a lease that would equalize as much as possible. My wife and I emphatically expressed that we want them to feel like it's fully their home - we remember from renting in the past how it can sometimes not feel like your home. For me, renting was damaging to my mental health. All the rules and restrictions made me feel unable to create a safe-feeling home environment. We don't want to put any restrictions on them when it comes to pets, drilling into walls, painting the room, re-landscaping the backyard, whatever. We also told them they're always welcome to give us feedback, communicate totally honestly with us about any of their needs, complaints, changes they want to the lease, etc.

Soooo with all that said... they're moving in on Friday! We are all counting the days. We already know we're gonna have a ton of fun together. We even agreed to have "family dinners" sitting together at the table a couple times a week 🙈 We are all just so dorky it's beautiful.

And! I accidentally said "gyns" referring to them in a message 😅 so I had to explain that, and they were SUPER interested and want us to teach them about radical feminism. Like??? We couldn't have created a more perfect roommate situation in a mad scientist's lab. I've been working on trusting my gut recently, as it never seems to lead me astray, and every instinct I have says this is Good.

[derangedhyena-zoids]

sorry not sorry we're still on a Cal spree. honestly it's more a "tee hee look at this creative outlet for my backdraft idiocy" spree but, whatever 17 pages with some shoved under a cut because comic has cw: drug use

And for the record, I know the comic is rough and probably not terribly clear on its own, as it was very gratuitously just me rolling in my idiot mud. The context & extended backstory: Two brothers, Cal and Marek. Cal is the older brother. Marek joined Backdraft and was disowned by their mother. Cal also doesn't approve. Marek is not terribly happy about losing out on what very small family he has, so really keeps bugging Cal to join Backdraft also. It would also objectively benefit Cal to do so, as he operates very roughly and is under the protection of no groups, so frequently is robbed/ripped off. He is extremely stressed and has a drug problem, but still thinks he's better off than Marek. Marek has a longtime girlfriend/spouse that also did not approve of Marek joining the Backdraft, but the stability it brought to their lives really couldn't be argued with. In my Zi canon, having children is a very deliberate choice, and it can actually be very difficult for couples to get pregnant. So Marek is going to be a father and is excited about it, and wants to tell Cal. Cal is also genuinely excited because he knows their mother wanted grandkids, BUT... well, reality sucks. Marek knew that Cal was not doing well, but remained unable to convince Cal to come along. Marek quickly gained a reputation within Backdraft, as the "Wild Dog." He was very successful. One of the many things Backdraft does is deal with drugs and drug money. However, as with other things, they pride themselves on providing high-quality stuff to rich clientele; they are very derisive of and destructive towards other dealers, especially who might infringe. Marek happened to overhear/be part of a convo about a specific supplier being dealt with. But Marek was concerned as it was likely someone Cal was in contact with; he was right, and Cal had OD'd. Marek had fortunately been able to save Cal, who knew he'd Disappointed His Brother and fucked up. Once Cal also joined Backdraft, he got clean because he had support, and was able to actually engage his whole brain, dramatically improving his outlook. He tried to get his mother to see reason and understand that BD was a net positive for both him and Marek, but she refused and disowned them both. Such being the strife BD regularly creates for people on Zi. Several years later Marek was killed during a battle. Cal lost his brother and any kind of positive relationship with Marek's wife. He'd been disowned by his mom, and he had to deal with the cognitive dissonance of both having everything given to him - and taken away from him - by Backdraft. Such was life. It's been a long time and that's just how things are. He doesn't want to worry or think about it. He tells himself it doesn't matter. He's a fucking liar.

I have no idea why anyone would bother reading this but, well. accidentally OCs and all. even more side-notes: probably not good for you to work on some parts of Zoids without some stripe of PPE (looking directly at Layon and Brad also) drugs on Zi aren't just 1::1 drugs that we'd know about. Some of them might share names out of habit, but picture the majority as compounds specific to Zi. and probably having something to do with metals, salts, and REALLY fucking you up. I don't know or have the specifics worked out so don't @ me, but I'll make some new shit up if I need to.

[possibilistfanfiction]

"the neoliberal rhetoric of the pronoun (ESPECIALLY in english) as the ultimate form of advocacy" -- it's such a relief to hear your take on ava's thoughts on pronouns bc i've always been frustrated by how limiting they are? how much stress they cause? i know pronouns are important for some folks but also we're so much more than that...

whew like ok i work in dei, mostly for youth (sport, schools, etc) but also doing lgbtq 101 workshops for upper level execs who run big sports orgs, school districts, blah blah, & it's like... people really think that getting someone's pronouns right (or even trying to get someone's pronouns right) is like........ you have done it! u are not transphobic! u understand the nuances of everyone's gender if you use the right pronoun!

& like... i get paid a fair amount of money to lowkey sell out & explain what a pronoun is (lol) but at the same time it is the fucking bane of my existence. i personally hate pronouns. i think they are legitimately so stupid lol. like... to distill the vast nuanced experience of both having a gender identity AND being perceived at all times as a gendered being (which sometimes match & sometimes don't) into a PRONOUN is just baffling to me.

i think cis people (especially those who don't really want to do the work needed to understand what abolition means -- how queerness & especially gender expansive trans identities are a crucial part of the intersection of where that ethic is rooted) just see pronouns as a sort of easy way out. like you're cool with trans people if you can remember someone's they/them pronouns. it's so gross & so deeply tried up in representational politics (diverse oppressors are still oppressors, white supremacy can be present in ethic & politic even without a white person in the room, etc).

& of course like you said pronouns are definitely important to some people (it is always nice to feel seen & respected at the most basic level 🤪) & definitely not at all saying that anyone should like get people's pronouns wrong, obviously, but i just really hate the concept of how my entire experience as a dyke & a person in general has to be reflected to the world at all times in a silly word which is so vastly incomplete. & i genuinely (not anyone's fault!) hate how that can get tied up in my writing, especially my writing about queerness. when ppl rly care abt terms & IDs etc i can understand bc the common messaging is all rooted in neoliberalism & "representation" instead of anti-state resistance, etc, so it's like. okay lol. but i am intentional in the way i write queerness bc of my own ethic & politic, so you know

ANYWAY yes. queerness & transness is so deeply expansive, to make it only about (or mostly about) pronouns is, to me, ethically against what queerness & transness really is, especially if those pronouns are mostly talked about in the context of english. & i would be remiss in saying that using non-normative &/or neopronouns is a privilege rooted in safety. often i don't disclose they/them pronouns bc i just don't want to explain myself, & i deeply do not care, but i'm always protected in a lot of ways by my whiteness (& that i'm educated, able-bodied, cis-passing, employed, etc etc etc). for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons, pronouns aren't safe. being out as trans isn't safe. but that doesn't mean their gender identities are any different or less important or less vital.

so yah ur right sorry this is a rant lmfao & once & for all.... ava is the most anti-state anti-institution character lmao. she genuinely would not give a flying fuck about her own pronouns. god doesn't fit into a pronoun anyway :)