#I know we're both just stressed the fuck out about money and it's really really affecting our moods and reactions

[marxstradamus]

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[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Club Fun

A/n: this is a draft that I’ve had for a while and I just kept putting it off posting because I wasn’t sure I liked it but I wanted to put it out and see what other people think 💕 thanks for reading I appreciate it 💕

(This also isn’t proofread at all soooo I’m sorry for any mistakes)

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, adult themes and Nat being a pain in the ass

"Come on Y/n how bad could a gentleman's club be?" Nat pushed you through the doors even with you groaning and pushing back against her

"Nat I have a literal alien in my body and I don't know what will set them off" you felt a grumble in your head

"I am not a prepubescent teenager Y/n I am sophisticated"

"Only because you can't survive without me out of my body" you grumbled back and Nat really wished she could understand what you were saying to the alien

You looked up and sighed "okay let's go in"

Nat smiled wide and guided you through the small hallway to the second bouncer "hey we're Nat and Y/n, we have a table booked under Tony Stark?"

The man looked you both over the at the list seeing your names and allowing you past "please keep your hands to yourselves and don't try and get any dancer's numbers because they'll just laugh at you" he laughed and you rolled your eyes turning to Nat

"does he think we're kids? Pretty sure I can control myself around some scantily clad women"

Nat scoffed "talk about yourself Y/n, I see a hot woman staring at me I'll give her money my number, my soul anything the sexy lady wants"

You giggled "you'll get us kicked out the moment we sit down at the booth"

Nat ignored you as she eyed up a waitress walking past who gave her a wink in response "yeah yeah whatever I'm gonna go and get some free drinks" she patted you on the back leaving you alone, well with the alien obviously

"We are being stared at"

You glanced around not noticing anything "what are you talking about?"

They turned your body around suddenly nearly falling over before you managed to steady yourself "dude what the fuck, you can't just turn me around like that!" You whisper shouted at them but they ignored you

"There is a redhead lady who is looking at us and biting her lip, I think she is older than us" you were pointed towards said woman and she gave you a wink

"Oh you're right, do you think she wants us to go over?" Before you could say anything else the woman in question walked over to you "hi pretty girl, do you need some help? You look a little lost"

The sweetness in her voice made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your mouth go dry "oh-er no-no thanks my friend is just getting drinks" you glanced at Nat who was very much not getting your drinks but instead was making out with the waitress she followed after

"It seems you're friend is a little busy right now, I'll take you to your booth" she pulled you towards a booth, her hand gripping your own sweaty mess of a hand.

You were near enough thrown into the booth and the woman followed close near enough sat in your lap "how about I get us some shots? They should loosen your cute tongue"

"...okay" you whispered and the women smiled kissing you on the cheek turning around and singling for a waiter to come over with their tray of shots

"How many miss Scarlet?" The man asked and she told him to put the tray down "thanks Brucie"

He left without another word and she took a glass from the tray pointing it towards you "here you go pretty girl" she tipped the drink towards your mouth and you opened your mouth taking the drink "good?"

You nodded licking the left over liquid from your lips "yeah it's good"

The woman's piercing green eyes were locked onto yours sitting in silence for a few moments before she spoke again "can I interest you in a dance?" She asked sweetly and you shook your head maybe a little too much making her pout

"Awe are you sure? I can relive all of that clear tension coming off of your shoulders, you're too pretty to be stressed"

She stood up bringing you with her and walking off towards Nat who managed to pull her face away from the waitress long enough to talk to you

"Y/n! This place is amazing! This is Maria, she's great" her ragged breath made you laugh "I'm sure she is amazing Nat"

Maria looked behind you to the woman and winked "so Scarlet, is this your new little conquest?"

So her name was Scarlet, or maybe just her stage name, you were certain no one gave their real names out, but this Maria did? She's not a dancer though you guessed?

Scarlet's arms wrapped around your waist getting your attention and she chuckled when you jumped "don't think too hard there pretty girl" she looked to Maria "I offered a dance but she turned me down Mia"

You couldn't see her face but you knew she was pouting about you refusing a dance "Y/n you can't refuse a dance! That's the whole point of the club!"

"I know but-

"No buts Y/n! Go on Scarlet take her to a room and help her relax" Nat demanded ignoring your embarrassed face

"Whatever the costumer wants they get Natalia" Scarlet smirked grabbing your hand leading you through the club away from the safety of people and noise for a quiet private room

"You need to relax honey, I promise you're okay I'll take such good care of you" she purred sitting you down on the couch and you finally looked at her properly seeing the dark red blazer wrapped around her body

"Y/n your body is heating up is everything okay?"

You couldn't answer them instead watching Scarlet unbutton her blazer dropping it to the floor

"Holy shit" you whispered letting your eyes wonder over her lingerie barley covering her body, it was useless being there in all honesty, her breasts were practically spilling out and that's where you met her finger pointing to her face "my eyes are up here princess" she chuckled and your eyes snapped up

"S-sorry!"

She giggled coming towards you and straddling your lap placing a leg on either side "don't say sorry for admiring beauty honey, let's start with your name again"

"Y-y/n" you whispered feeling your hands unintentionally land on her thighs and she gasped "getting bold Y/n? I like it"

"You were moving too slow so I needed to help you Y/n"

You knew they where right, you had a woman, a hot woman you may add on your lap wearing the hottest thing you’ve ever seen and yeah sure it’s part of her job but you could have fun right?

“Get out of your pretty head Y/n” she brought you out of your thoughts and jumped at how you could feel her breath on your face as she whispered in your ear “so Y/n are you going to tell me what you I can do for you?

“This is all new to me so I don’t know what to ask for”

Scarlet looked over you and your slightly trembling body “how about a kiss?" She didn't really wait for answer before kissing you on the lips softly, you remained frozen until you were mentally slapped by your symbiote

"Y/n I do not get aroused or feel sexual tension but even I am suffering through this air of arousal, kiss her back"

You relaxed into the kiss sighing as you kissed her back, feeling Venom slip into your body and elongate your tongue and force her mouth open slipping the long tongue inside and wrapping around her own, Scarlet either didn't realise or didn't care because she moaned into the kiss trying to gain some kind of control

When you both had to pull away for some air Scarlet was shocked seeing the tongue lull out of your mouth "what the hell is that? Looks like your tongue had an erection" when she laughed and didn't run away from you or slap you your heart grew ten sizes, it was nice you guessed if still little strange.

"Can you even talk with that thing?" she giggled and wen to kiss you again but you pulled away letting your tongue return to its normal size

"Everthing okay?" She placed a kiss on your cheek as a reassurance and you smiled

"Have you ever heard of symbiotes?"

She sat back on your lap thinking about it "like that alien that tried to destroy the world? Are you that alien?"

You shook your head "no! No at all, I was just infect-sorry chosen to be a host for one...do you want to meet them?"

Scarlet had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing "well this is nothing like my normal encounters here but sure, let's see the little alien"

Venom didn't need to be told twice and their tendrils appeared forming a their head smiling at Scarlet

"You are a very pretty lady miss Scarlet, I cannot feel aroused or these silly human feelings but you have a hot body and Y/n agrees"

"Venom! Just stop talking" you groaned trying to get away but you were still trapped under Scarlet's thighs

"God this is so weird, it's a good thing you're hot" she lent forward placing a kiss on your neck and then biting you there, you looked at Venom whispering "go back"

They looked at you funny so you said it again "it's a private moment now Venom"

They understood and retreated back into your body quickly and you focused back on the feeling of her soft lips on your neck.

******************************************************************

“My lips are chapped Nat” Maria pulled away from Nat who still tried chasing after her “oh come on, they’re not that bad”

The waitress gently pushed her away “you’re insatiable, I like it, give me a few minutes and I’ll take you somewhere nice”

‘Where?” She questioned

“To the best room we have, it’s got a mini fridge” Maria kissed Nat again softly refusing to let her take over the kiss again “plus we can watch the cameras for your friend”

Nat’s eyes widened “there’s cameras in the room?”

Maria laughed “obviously, how else are we supposed to protect our girls?”

She lead Nat through the club into a closed off area and through a door to a room with a couch, a mini fridge and the cameras she mentioned

“This looks like a pervs hangout” Nat commented but Maria just rolled her eyes pushing the redhead to the couch “just sit there and be quiet, if that’s something you can do”

"I prefer being loud" Nat winked

"I can’t wait to prove that later" Maria took some wine out of the fridge and sat next to the woman giving her a kiss on the cheek “okay let’s get this started" she turned on the Tv changing the channel through the rooms before finding you and Scarlet

"Ugh boring they're just talking" nat looked through the screen, she hoped she could read lips so she knew what you were saying, when she got a closer look she noticed Venom's head at the side of you "what the fuck?!"

Maria put down the wine quickly looking at these screen "what's that?! Is that a puppet? Does your friend have a puppet kink? A little odd but I'm sure Scarlet can work with that" Maria was laughing but Nat only let out a small chuckle too focused on why the hell Venom decided to make themselves known, suddenly Scarlet lent forward kissing and started kissing your neck

"The puppet worked" Maria laughed and Nat managed a small laugh "hah yeah sure" she turned the TV off instead not wanting to focus on you and your weird alien friend, she had no idea why Scarlet didn't mind it though

"Well they're boring now"

******************************************************************

Scarlet's lips moved up to your ear "you're not the only one with a secret princess"

Your smile dropped and you pulled away suddenly but Scarlet just laughed "it's okay honey nothing horrible, do you know what a coven is?"

You flexed your hands on her thighs and swallowed nervously "like witches?"

She smiled "yes"

"Are you a witch?"

She simply nodded and flashed her red eyes making you gasp "shit that's so cool!" You were memorised, maybe a little scared since witches were seen as strange or evil but a dancer at a gentleman's club couldn't be evil...right?

"I'm not evil honey, just someone who gets bored easily and needs something to do"

Did she read your mind?? You looked at her surprised and she giggled "yes princess I can read minds and yours has been a delight to listen too"

That's so weird but cool as well, so what so we do now?"

"Well, my real name is Wanda to start with, I use Scarlet because the guys like it, and for security of course"

You were really trying to listen honestly you were but your eyes kept flickering down to her chest

"You're not listening to a thing I'm saying are you?" Wanda laughed using her finger to lift up your chin "it's okay, I know what you really want" she lent forward to kiss you but a bell went off stopping her in her tracks "oooh sorry princess times up"

She tried pulling away but your fingers dug into her thighs keeping her there "but you were going to kiss me again?”

She raised her eyebrow and smiled at you "I know, I love leaving my clients on edge, it guarantees they come back"

This time Venom growled and appeared again "that seems a little unfair Wanda, we showed you me, I think we deserve a treat"

She just shrugged managing to pull away from you standing up and covering herself with her robe "are you saying you don't want to see me again?"

Both you and Venom were confused

"Because if I slept with you that's what would happen, and I'm quite enjoying your company"

"She is teasing us Y/n"

You agreed "she is"

Wanda watched you as you were thinking, and you knew she was reading your mind "you have some hot thoughts in there Y/n, a stark difference from when we first started, now come on, your friend will be waiting for you"

You sighed reluctantly getting up and going past Wanda when she gave you a small smack on your ass "hey!"

She laughed "I couldn't help myself honey"

****************************************************************

"Nice to finally see you two out of the room, did you give her the full dance Scarlet?" Maria laughed glancing between the two of you and the redhead smiled wrapping her fingers around your waist "she had a wonderful time Maria, she'll be coming back tomorrow night"

Nat gasped and you looked at her "you're coming back?! Wow Y/n, she must've given you the full treatment eh?"

When your face blushed Wanda kissed your cheek "you're so cute malen'kiy you can have my number, so call me when you're here tomorrow and I'll come and get you"

You nodded and went to kiss Wanda but you weren't too sure until Wanda pulled you in close kissing you hard

"Oooooohhhh!" Nat exclaimed excitedly "Maria did you see that?! My little virgin is getting somewhere!"

You instantly pulled back going bright red "Nat! I'm not a virgin! I've slept with loads of women"

Both women laughed and Wanda tried hiding her own smirk "it's okay princess, I'm an excellent teacher"

You groaned pulling away from the woman "come on Nat before I sink into the ground from embarrassment"

Nat giggled and kissed Maria one more time "so it look's like I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll have the usual room ready" she winked in response kissing the redhead again

"Do I get a good-bye kiss?" Wanda pouted and you rolled your eyes walking back to her "I never expected this coming into a strip club" holding the woman's face in your hands you kissed Wanda softly before pulling away then kissing her nose

"Hmm you're my favourite client malen'kiy"

"I have no idea what that Russian word means but I hope it's good"

Wanda giggled kissing the side of your head "Ty takaya ocharovatel'naya printsessa, dumayu, ya ostavlyu tebya ty moya"

You heard Nat soft gasp from the side of you and you whipped your head around to her "did she say something shocking?"

Wanda looked to Nat shaking her head and Nat nodded "just some sickly sweet thing about you, typical for you to come into a gentleman's cub for a dance from a stripper to come out with a potential partner"

You shrugged "hey I can't help it if I have incredible game"

The group burst out laughing even Wanda joined in making you pout

"Y/n I love you I really do but you're really terrible with women, I'm surprised Wanda actually made out with you"

You blushed hard leaner closer into Wanda "yeah well fuck you Nat" okay it wasn't the best comeback but its the only one you could think of

"It's okay Y/n I thought that was a very good comeback" Wanda kissed your cheek "okay honey, I've got to go back to work"

You started to talk back but a finger shushed your lips "I still need money my love but I want you back here tomorrow okay?"

You nodded "I'm definitely coming back all the time Wanda, I'll sit in the corner with a snack"

Wanda held in a giggle rubbing your shoulder "oh honey I don't think my clients would enjoy that"

"Then they'd to keep their hands off of you" you retorted and Wanda laughed "my little possessive girl don't worry, you'll get the special private dances"

It was your turn to blush hard again and you had to keep yourself steady "o-oh okay cool yeah! Great"

Nat laughed “you’re a mess, come on idiot let’s go”

[dashofmonsters]

Dreamers & Delusions- Pt. 10

merman x female reader

You toss on whatever clothes you can find and meet Jes downstairs and hop in her car. She tries over and over again to call Arty but he doesn't answer.

"Fucking fae and phones, I swear he and I are going to have a long conversation about this later," Jes scowls.

"As long as we get there before she calls the cops we should be fine," you offer a hopeful half smile.

"If she didn't call them as soon as she saw them you mean," Jes speeds out of the beach area and into town.

You hold onto the handle for dear life and balance yourself as she makes a few sharp turns and runs a light. Your already upset stomach churns and gurgles so you close your eyes hoping that'll help it settle just a little.

The car comes to an abrupt halt and you fling your eyes and door open and hurl at the stop light. Jes curses and apologizes for the harsh driving but you wave it off. You know how severe this situation is and you'd rather vomit than have your merman you're in love with deported.

When the light turns green Jes floors it and rushes towards your neighborhood. You sigh in relief when you don't see any cop car lights but you do see your grandmother and that's just as bad.

Tao is towering over her, arms crossed and scowling down at her with his damn teeth bared. Arty isn't alone, he's got a few of his wild fae biker buddies with him and Jes' brother Kirk is standing on the side between Toa and your grandmother waiting to step in between them if he needs to.

The second Jes gets close enough you fly out of the car and stomp up to the lot. Everyone turns their heads towards you aside from Tao and your grandmother.

"Tao come on, we're getting my crap and leaving," you tell him and that snaps him from his stare off.

"Hold right there! I get no call, no fucking messages and you're moving out? How fucking dare you!" your grandmother yells at you. "I was worried but no, you were too caught up in your own fucking bullshit that you never once thought about me!"

You turn towards your grandmother and for the first time in your life, you really see her for what she is, a pathetic and conceited lonely woman.

"You really are sad, you know that?" you start. "You keep chasing away people who love you because everything has to be according to you. You parade yourself as a fucking saint for taking me in but not once have you treated it like a charity. I've paid to stay here, I'm nothing more than a tenant to you. So you have no fucking right to say you're worried about me when you're only worried about my goddamn mother fucking money!"

Everyone is silent, even your grandmother. Her eyes widen and her lips quiver but you don't spare her the space to talk.

"And you dare to insult the people who actually treat me with respect and like I'm a fucking person. You need to fucking check yourself because you're no cakewalk grandmama. Who the fuck do you even think you are? What authority do you think you hold to treat people like shit?" you ask as you step up to her.

Her eyes look you up and down and she raises her arm but you catch it. She tries to pull her arm away and attempts to slap you with her free hand but someone calls out and she freezes.

"Just fucking stop Cat, you're causing a scene," Gayle walks up in full designer looking like she stepped out of a fashion magazine.

Your grandmother stops struggling and her arms lose all strength.

"And here I was about to pick you both up for a late lunch," Gayla smiles and looks at you. "Care to fill me in buttercup? I think your grandmama needs a little granny nap. Just look at the poor thing, she looks stressed."

"I'm not stressed, Gayle. I'm wondering why my fucking granddaughter thinks she can move out without saying anything after she's been gone for days on end," your grandmother seethes.

And Gayle looks back at you, "Well I'm guessing she found a better place to stay at and as for her being gone for days on end, well she is an adult. Besides, we were young once and I do remember a certain someone running off to Mexico without telling her parents... What was it, three... No, it was five months. Loosen your asshole Cat and maybe that stick will finally fall the fuck out."

You purse your lips and look down as Gayle keeps landing one blow after another. You hadn't expected her to show up and least of all put your grandmother down so fucking hard.

Everyone here is silent, waiting for anyone one of you three to say something but your grandmother is silent and seething and you're too shocked and speechless.

"Come on Kitty Cat, let's go have some margaritas while your grandbaby moves on out. I know she'll be a dear and clean up after herself," Gayle shoves your grandmother inside and grins at you.

Jes slowly approaches your side and places a hand on your shoulder, "I don't know what they hell just happened, but that was fucking beautiful."

"That would be Gayle and thank the gods she got here when she did," you smile and shake your head before looking around for Tao.

His eyes meet yours and you beckon him over, "Alright, I guess we can get moving."

Things go fast from there on out. You and Jes pack up your clothes and toiletries while the guys move the little bit of furniture that you have and pack your books and such into the boxes. You tidy up any messes that are left behind as Gayle escorts your grandmother out of the house and away for drinks.

Once everything's been loaded into the moving van, everyone makes their way to Tao's house. You and Jes make a pit stop to grab some charcoal and sodas to celebrate your move out move in situation.

Arty, Kirk and the others move everything into the living room while Tao and Jes prep for the barbeque and you kind of just sit around. Word moved around that you're still healing from getting dragged out to sea and no one will allow you to lift a finger.

Kirk swings by a few times to ask where certain boxes can go and a few of Arty's friends check in to see if you're alright and you smile and play off that just sitting around isn't driving you up the wall.

Tao comes by ever so often to make sure you're ok but you feel like there's some distance between the both of you right now. You start over thinking things, like maybe he's nervous about talking about who he chose or maybe he's trying to draw out the move in so he doesn't have to talk to you about it today.

You start to silently spiral into your darkest thoughts as the late afternoon drifts into the evening. Tao mans the barbeque pit that you had no idea that he had while Jes keeps you company with snacks and work gossip. You try your best to be present but there's this nagging feeling that something's not right.

Tao eventually comes upstairs and brings you food, his touch linger just a little longer than it should on your hand before he quickly slips away. You feel a strange chill and try not to cry over your food.

It smells good but you're too upset to eat and Jes can tell.

"Talk girly pop, you look like you're about to fall apart right now," she nudges you and you set the paper plate aside.

"Did he say anything to you? Did Tao mention anyth-"

"Ok I'm going to stop you right there. I told you he told me everything earlier today. And I mean everything. I think you need to chill out princess, I know it's hard for you right now but just trust me ok?" she looks at you and picks up your plate and hands it back to you.

"Now then, you're going to eat and whenever your merjerk gets his happy ass up here we'll tell him you're tired and I'll help kick everyone out and then you'll get a little one on one time with him. Sounds good?" She smiles and takes a big bite out of her burger.

You stare at your food for a few moments before you slowly dig in. After the second bite you realize just how hungry you really are and kind of tune out the rest of the world as you scarf down your food.

After a while Tao does come up and Jes tells him you're tired and that she'll gather everyone up and head out. Jes hugs you goodbye and makes a quick exit leaving you and Tao alone for the first time in hours.

"I uh... I should probably go rinse off before I head to bed," you shrug.

But when you go to stand up, Tao ends up scooping you up in his arms and just holds you for a good long while.

"Uh Tao?" you tap his shoulder and he holds you tighter.

"Sorry... I- I'm so sorry," he apologizes out of nowhere.

"Wait for what?" you ask.

"I almost did something unforgiveable... I almost... I almost let my instincts take over and I-I didn't want to hurt her but I couldn't stand just being there in front of her... I don't know what would have happened if you didn't show up when you did," Tao admits as he presses his face against your neck.

You remember how tense he looked glaring daggers at your grandmother but you never would have guessed that he would have gone aggro.

"It's ok I guess, you did hold back and it looked like Kirk was ready to stop whatever smackdown might have happened," you chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

Tao squeezes you and shakes his head, "No, it's not ok... I could have gotten deported if things escalated. If that happens, I wouldn't be able to see you again."

Hearing that makes your heart stop for a moment. He shouldn't say sweet things like that to you, he shouldn't make you feel this important when you're probably not the one he chose.

In that moment you feel yourself becoming cold, distancing your heart away from Tao. It'll be easier if I think he's already rejected me, you reason with yourself. Just act like friends and only friends.

"Yeah, yeah... don't do shit to get deported, but like I said, you held back. All's well that ends well," you shrug and wiggle out of his arms. "I'm gonna jump in the shower and head to bed, I'm worn the fuck out."

Tao looks at you like you've just burned him, "Didn't you want to talk once you got moved in?"

You look around and shrug, "Yeah, I mean I still gotta put everything up and figure out where to put my furniture."

Tao inhales sharply and you see his jaw tick, "Right, of course... Try to get some rest then."

Smiling, you dismiss yourself and head towards the bathroom. Once you've closed and locked the door, you fall to the floor and crumple. You silently cry into your hands feeling bother relieved and horrified. You're free of your grandmother but now you've gone and got yourself into this new mess.

After sometime and nearly fall asleep on the floor, you finally move to go shower off. You quickly rinse off and wrap yourself in a towel to head to the nest room but you nearly jump out of your skin when you see Tao standing outside the bathroom.

His dour expression makes your already cold skin shiver. His eyes practically glow in rage and you see the tips on his claws digging into his skin.

Before you can ask him what's wrong he grabs your wrist and tugs you along to the nest room. He tells you to hurry and get dressed and to grab a pair of shoes. You ask why and all he says is that you two need to talk, tonight.

You contemplate taking your time getting dressed but you feel like if you do that then Tao might come bursting through the door and pick out whatever for you to wear. With great reluctance you tug on a sweatshirt and pajama pants and grab a pair of sandals.

When you shuffle out of the room Tao beckons you to follow him and he leads you out of the house.

"Tao where are we going? Can't we just go back inside and talk?" you ask as you follow him down the stairs.

"No," he says flatly and once you're down the stairs he takes your hand and guides you wherever the hell it is he's taking you.

After a few minutes you enter the beach area he works at. He takes you to the tower and before you know it, he's stripping down to his swim trunks.

"Really, what the hell is going on T-"

"Leave your sandals here, I'll put them up there with my clothes," he says, cutting you off.

You gape at him and stand your ground, "How about you tell me why the hell you dragged me all the way out here to just talk?"

"Because..." Tao exhales and turns to you, finally looking at you since you exited the bathroom. "Out there we can't run away, we won't be able to avoid each other and whatever has to be said. I can't keep pretending like everything between us is ok when I keep hearing you cry knowing I might have caused any of that grief."

You look out towards the ocean and feel your gut sink. It felt too soon to go back out there, your wounds itch at the thought. You feel your chest tighten and breathing becomes just a little harder.

"No, please Tao, not there... Not yet," you plead with him.

His stern look softens a bit and he lowers himself to kneel in front of you, "There's nothing in there to be afraid of, I promise."

"I-I can't do it, please, anywhere else," you beg again.

Tao lowers his head and groans before hoisting you up into his arms. For a moment you think he's going to walk you into the ocean but he just keeps walking.

His pacing is slower than usual and he holds you with a gentleness that seems out of place with how pissed off he looks. After a minute or two you end up dozing off in his arms. It's a light sleep and one you're easily woken from.

Tao sets you down ever so carefully on soft sweet smelling grass and you almost fall asleep again but he holds you up right and keeps your attention on him.

"We need to talk," he tells you again.

"I know," you say, looking down at the grass before looking around at your surroundings.

You'd been here before, back when the pixies were celebrating and you and Tao danced right into the ocean.

"Is here fine?" he asks, cupping your face. His eyes now glowing in the moonlight search your face to make sure you're comfortable.

You shrug and look away from him, "Yeah...yeah it's fine."

Tao sighs and sits across from you, "I used to think you were annoying you know."

You roll your eyes and glare at him.

"To be fair I used to think everyone was annoying, and then we started talking... I started to get to know you and you slowly opened up my world. I had been here for two years before I met you and the only people I really interacted with are those that I had to," Tao starts, his voice softer than usual.

"It felt odd how quickly I opened up to you. I was worried that you'd find me too strange or that I...I wasn't someone you'd want to be around. And then when we became friends it just felt even more unreal. I had a shoal mate again, I had someone in my life that didn't have to be there but they chose to," Tao smiles, though his eyes look sad.

"And then we made that agreement... to date each other. You're grandmother would leave you alone and I would get some sort of practice on how to romance a human if my fated mate ended up being one. I think that's when things got more complicated," He sighs and takes your hand.

For a moment you don't register that he's touching you, that he's gently squeezing your fingers. Your mind is too deep into readying your heart for the impending rejection.

Tao squeezes your hand again and places a hand on your cheek, "We are not here to further any pain, this I swear... so please, look at me."

You think about shoving away from Tao but that just might prolong this interaction. You know facing it head on will be the best course of action, rip it off like a band aid and be done with this so you can go cry into a pillow when he's not around, preferably while he's at work. Gods know that he'd be super obnoxious about you being emotional.

So you look at him, your eyes heavy and feeling dry from crying for however long you did earlier.

"Little by little I felt this strong desire, this need to be closer to you. I thought at first that it was my natural and instinctual obligation to protect the only shoal mate I have. But then things started to change, you were more than just this woman I saw on the beach ever so often or a friend I'd see nearly everyday. It got to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about you and-" Tao stops, his voice having grown horse and the hands that are holding you start to shake.

Your heart breaks and melts all at once as you watch Tao come undone right in front of you. His eyes are shut tight as it looks like he's fighting the tears that are slipping from underneath his lashes. His teeth grind and his grip on your hand tightens as he takes a long and shaky breath.

"I never meant to hurt you... I just, I couldn't tell you... couldn't let you go... But I didn't know, I didn't know what I was feeling and then I saw what I was doing to you... I felt like I didn't deserve any sort of forgiveness... I still don't think I deserve it... Not after what I've done," He lowers his head and tries to take his hands back but you don't let him.

"What did you do Tao?" you ask, your voice firm but just as emotional. "What did you do?"

Tao tries again to take his hands away but you won't let him budge.

"Finish what you started! You wanted to talk? We're talking Tao! What did you do?" you say once more, getting up in his face this time.

Tao tries to move back but you follow until you're pretty much straddling him and fisting his shirt.

"You're not going anywhere Tao. Fuck me trying to run away you hypocrite! What are you afraid of? That I'd hate you or leave you or some shit? News flash buddy, you're my best fucking friend and I can't afford to move out so just say whatever you fucking did so we can just be done and over wi-"

"I knew," Tao says, still looking away from you.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific than that," you sneer.

"Jes told me a long while ago how you felt about me," he adds.

You feel your heart sink as his shirt slips from your grasp.

"She told me that it was just a crush, you being somewhat interested in me and I... I chose to ignore it. She told me again and again how you felt and I kept choosing to ignore it until she slapped me across the face one day and... I didn't know what I had done, what my choice in ignoring your feelings had done to you, to us..." He finally looks at you and the whites of his eyes have turned black.

"You knew... And you ignored it?" your lips quiver as you're uncertain how to feel right now but for some reason you can't help but to laugh.

You laugh so hard you start tearing up.

"You fucking knew I had some sort of feeling for you but chose to just fucking ignore them, wow!" you chuckle. "That has got to be the most on brand thing you could have done being who you are. You're either really fucking stupid or just that dense!"

You looks down at Tao after coming down from your moment of hysteria and see that he's in total shock, "Well what was it? Stupid or dense?"

He blinks and before you know it he's rolling you both over until your laying in the grass and he's on top, "Probably both, stupid for ignoring your feelings and too dense to understand them. And I don't expect any forgiveness for what I've done but you deserved to know the truth before I tell you who I chose."

You hate this side of him, being way too honest and taking accountability even though he was about to run away. You want to stay mad at him, you want to kick him in the groin and graffiti his lifeguard tower but that won't take away the ache in your chest.

"I don't care about that anymore Tao. It's obvious that you feel bad for playing with my feelings and so on, so let's just leave it at that. We can pretend we never fake dated and just be friends and shoal mates or whatever. Your love life has nothing to do with me," you shrug and do your best to swallow your emotions.

"Unfortunately for you, my love life has everything to do with you," Tao sits up, his golden eyes gleaming and glowing marks appear on his neck and torso. The moon is in an obnoxiously perfect position where it's haloing his head making him look terrifying and somewhat godlike. You feel your heart pounding as he reaches down and gently pulls you up to your feet.

For the first time in a long while you feel Tao towering over you in both a comforting and intimidating way until he kneels before you and takes your hands.

"I've hurt you, ruined your trust in me, and destroyed whatever relationship we had. And now, as you humans say, I'm about to add salt to the wound. The one that I chose, the one that my heart chose, that person is you," Tao confesses.

You shake your head as you start to feel faint.

"I wanted you as my mate," he says.

Mate...

That was the last word you heard before you passed out.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Got You Good, Kid

Day #15 - Let's Talk About That | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Smoking, Mentions of Unplanned Pregnancy, Eddie Being a Bit Lot of a Dick | POV: Gareth | Pairing: Gareth/OFC (Off-Screen), Background Steddie | Tags: Modern Day Setting, Road Manager Steve Harrington, Eddie and Gareth are BFFs, But Gareth's Keeping Secrets, So They're Fighting, Fucking Interviewers, Fucking Paparazzi, Fucking Eddie

Gareth adjusts the mic on his collar. Beside him, Eddie's fidgeting, Jeff is texting and Goodie's head is tipped back like he's sleeping or counting the ceiling tiles. 

It's the usual press junket. The same ten questions they all answer, over and over again. It's a goddamn bore. 

"One more question," the journalist says. 

She turns her iPad towards them. It's a picture of Gareth, standing on a sidewalk, a lit cigarette in his hand.

Yeah, he smokes when he's stressed sometimes, sue him. 

"Any comment?" 

Eddie leans forward, looking more closely, "Yeah. Don't smoke, kids."

Everybody laughs, and Gareth thinks that's it, until the reporter swipes to the left and another picture fills the screen. Eddie's not looking at the screen anymore. Now, Eddie's looking at Gareth.

Steve comes in out of fucking nowhere, "No comment. We're done here."

And they are. The room is cleared, and they make a quiet trip back to the hotel. 

Only after the door closes, does Eddie wheel on him.

"What the fuck is going on? Did you get a girl pregnant, and what? Just not tell any of us?" 

Gareth quickly looks at Steve, and Eddie doesn't miss the flick of his eyes.

"Oh, you're fucking kidding me. Steve knew? Before me?" 

And Gareth can't really determine if Eddie's mad that he's gonna be a dad or that Steve knew before he did. 

"He's Steve. He manages everything. I was waiting until the tour was over to tell you."

"Are you with her?" Eddie asks. "Is this why you've been bailing on us?"

"We're taking it slow," Gareth answers. He likes her. Could love her. But they agreed to focus on this first.

"Yeah, looks real slow to me."

"And I haven't bailed. I haven't missed shit."

"Eddie," Steve says, trying to rein Eddie in before he's too revved up.

Too late.

"How goddamn stupid are you? She got you good, kid."

Gareth clenches his fists, instantly mad, because that's not true. Not at all. He doesn't think this was some scheme to baby trap him and milk him for money. Corroded Coffin is famous, but they aren't so rich and famous that he'd be a mark for that kind of plotting. 

He had a one night stand, and she got pregnant. She told him. They made the decision together to proceed.

"That's not fucking true. The condom didn't work." 

"That's convenient. She probably poked holes in it."

"Well, it was mine, so..."

Eddie just stares at him, before finally saying, "Mark my words, because you're definitely getting an 'I told you so' when you're nothing but a checkbook and never see this kid."

"Eddie," Steve warns, and Eddie turns on him.

"And you? Not telling me."

"It wasn't for me to tell," Steve says, calmly. Because Eddie can't ruffle Steve's feathers, not like he can Gareth's. Steve won't allow it. There's no steamrolling of Steve Harrington by Eddie Munson.

"She looks like she's about ready to pop! How long have you known?" Eddie demands. 

Gareth's known for months. He just didn't know how to tell Eddie, because Eddie would be worried about the tour, the album, and everything else that affects Eddie. 

Gareth knows Eddie loves him, but Eddie still thinks he's a kid that needs tending to, even if that hasn't been true in years. 

"A while."

"Where does this girl even live?"

"She's a woman. We're both over thirty, yet you're acting like I preyed on a groupie."

Steve interjects, "I'm in contact with her dad, he's a lawyer. We're getting the parenting plan hammered out so Gareth can co-parent."

"Co-parent a kid from where?" Eddie repeats.

"Omaha."

"Omaha. That's great. Convenient for us all." 

"Well, it's centrally located," Steve offers. They both ignore him.

"She probably sold those pictures. No paps were in fucking Omaha."

"I think it was probably a fan…" Steve trails off, trying to bring reason to an unreasonable fight.

"I don't know what you want me to do, Eddie. I can't unring this bell."

And, honestly, he doesn't want to.

"You were smoking near her. Good job, dad."

"Did you see her when I was smoking? Fucking no. Because she wasn't there yet. Goddamn. You judgmental asshole."

Eddie huffs dramatically, "This is a fucking mess. If Steve wants to help, that's fine. But I'm not."

Gareth nods as Eddie storms off, and he'll come around. Gareth can't have a kid Eddie won't have anything to do with.

This'll blow over. It has to.

But Eddie's still mad. Weeks later. After the show, Steve's waiting with a smile, "You're having a baby. Wheels up in an hour."

"Oh shit," Gareth says, "too early?"

"No," Steve says, "just unwilling to consult the tour schedule. Already rude, just like you."

Gareth laughs, and runs towards the dressing room to shower. He passes Eddie without a word, but tells Jeff and Goodie the news.

Eddie pretends he doesn't hear, and Gareth can't dwell on the fact that he's losing his best friend. Has maybe already lost him. 

His daughter is coming, no matter how Eddie feels.

And an hour later, when Gareth is climbing the stairs of the borrowed private plane, Steve is the one behind him. Jeff and Goodie, already on board. 

The plane is crawling across the tarmac, when Goodie speaks, "Hey, wait, there's Eddie."

Sure enough, Eddie's on one of those little carts, being shuttled by airport staff, arms waving.

They must radio for the pilot to stop, and Eddie eventually slides into the seat next to Gareth.

"So, we're having a baby," Eddie says, and that's enough of an apology for now, because he needs Eddie.

There's a beat, and then Eddie asks, "Are you sure it's yours? You've never been early a day in your life."

Gareth laughs, "I'm sure. She must get that from her mom."

Eddie smiles, "We're having a girl?"

Gareth nods.

Eddie leans over and kisses Gareth's head, "Sorry, I'm late."

It's okay. Gareth thinks he's right on time.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

Notes: Lord, I think one was edited and changed and fiddled with the most to stay at 1000 words but say everything I wanted to say. Take away ten, add twenty-seven. Rinse, repeat. There was a whole flash-forward at the end that just had to go for word count reasons. But just know. It works out, for all of them. ❤️

[stop-talking]

How do you think jhutch characters would handle a baby?

I'm not quite sure if you're asking "what would they do if you handed them a baby" or "what would they do if you told them you're pregnant" but I'm gonna assume you meant the latter. (feel free to send another request if I got it wrong)

Ranking Jhutch characters from worst to best fathers:

Billy

☆ Would play dumb when you hand him the pregnancy test.

☆ "What's this? Oh, you're pregnant? Can't be mine. My pull-out game is too strong." (literally has NO pull-out game, refuses to use condoms because he "can't feel" with them on)

☆ Basically ghosts you until the paternity test proves it's his. Then he actually ghosts you.

☆ Drops off the face of the fucking Earth for years. Doesn't pay a dime in child support.

☆ Maybe he comes back like 3 years later drunk and demanding to see "his" kid idk. Literally the worst.

Derek

☆ Honestly I headcannon he had a vasectomy at like 24-25.

☆ His mom hit him up once she heard about his prostitute scandals and chewed him out. Gave him "the talk" even though he's a grown ass man... finally got him to get snipped when she brought up the possibility of paying income-based child support for 18 years.

☆ Assuming he doesn't have one, though...

☆ He'd initially be mad and blame you. "I thought you were on the pill!!"

☆ Then he'd be like "Is it too late to... you know... get rid of it?" (and kind of dance around the subject because he's too much of a wimp to just say the word abortion)

☆ Wallace and his mom would both force him to get his shit together and apologize. Eventually he'd come to terms with the fact he's gonna be a dad.

☆ He'd be the kind of bastard to throw an over-the-top gender reveal party. The kind that burns down half of California or pollutes a major water channel.

☆ I think he'd be a really good girl dad. He'd let her paint his nails and stuff. Spoil her. <3

☆ He would treat a son completely differently. Teach him to "be a man" or whatever when he's still learning to walk. Force him into random ass sports.

☆ He'd have them mostly taken care of by a nanny. That's probably how he was raised, anyways. Derek Danforth is NOT changing a diaper.

Futturman

☆ Whether we're talking pre-show or post-show, he'd freak the fuck out if you handed him a positive pregnancy test. I'm talking full-on pass out.

☆ Pre-show Josh would be like "Babe we can NOT afford a baby I literally live at home with my parents and work as a janitor."

☆ His parents would be so crazy supportive though. They've been hinting that they want grandkids for YEARS.

☆ They literally clear out a room IMMIDEATELY after hearing the news and offer it to you to use as a nursery.

☆ His mom buys you more baby clothes than you could possibly need. His dad builds a crib from scratch.

☆ Overall Josh is stressed asf but he does his best to be there for you, and his parents are OVERWHELMIGLY supportive.

☆ Post-show Josh, on the other hand, doesn't have that support. But he's survived unspeakable horrors across multiple dimensions, how hard could a baby be?

☆ Extremely hard, apparently. One day he just loses it and makes a huge decision without asking you.

☆ "Josh WTF happened to our savings??"

☆ "TRUST ME BABE we need to invest in Apple!!"

☆ You're pissed but it pays off in a few years and you're both able to live comfortably.

☆ Then in 2015-ish he did the same thing again, pouring all your savings into bitcoin. This time you SWEAR you're going to leave him, but it all pays out in the end. He gets your kid through college with that money.

☆ Overall he's a really good father, too. He had great parents, and even if he's not experienced with kids, he's naturally a very caring and attentive person.

Mike

☆ Cries when he sees the pregnancy test. He's not even sure if it's happy or sad tears.

☆ Gets sick to his stomach overthinking about how he's going to be a terrible father. His dad walked out on him, so he has literally no idea how to act.

☆ Abby, on the other hand, is absolutely delighted. She's always wanted a "little sister". Mike has to remind her that technically it's her niece. Or nephew. There's no guarantee on the gender yet.

☆ Eventually he comes to terms with it all. He's taken care of Abby for ten years, he isn't completely clueless.

☆ Takes you to all of your Dr.'s appointments, checkups, etc. Holds your hand. Makes all of your weird pregnancy cravings and doesn't judge.

☆ After the birth, he lets you rest. Nearly works himself to death trying to take care of the baby all on his own because he wants you to recover.

☆ I'm talking getting up bleary-eyed at 2am every night to microwave some formula and feed the baby. After working a 10 hour shift.

☆ Pulls the "I have a baby on the way" card at work in an attempt to get a raise. It works, thankfully. (In the novel version of the movie; it says he gets a job as a contractor at the end. So hopefully he can afford a kid...)

----------♡----------

[Remember: these are just MY headcannons. If you think differently that's fine. I didn't include Clapton because he's literally in highschool... and we all know Peeta is an amazing father.]

[liquidstar]

SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Once again I have so many thoughts, but very limited time to express them, so will attempt to make my swirling brain come up with something coherent.

I am finding it interesting to see all the different reactions to Dangerous Romance this week. To be clear, I am the kind of person who rarely has expectations going into a show, and am much more a "meh, let's see where the journey takes us" kind of watcher. I'm also very much still in my "yay, queer content" phase, and if it means looking at Perth for an hour a week, I'm probably going to be happy. (Not that I'm never disappointed, do I think Big Dragon needed about 200% more BDSM? Yes, yes I do.)

I do totally respect when a show isn't working for some people. That said, I am completely fine with the pacing, because what I am seeing, is a fuck-ton of setup.

Sure, the bullying has stopped, but now we know Kang is capable of being very dark and cruel, especially when there is something making him feel powerless in his life. He also has a weakness around Sailom, and is still trying to exert control, just in a new way.

Yeah, Sailom only had to escort once before getting back to tutoring, but Name literally followed him to his place of work, AND confirmed for himself that Sailom will accept a job like that with very little pushback - meaning if he gets even more desperate, it won't take much to push him further. Name is not going to do nothing with that information.

And I get if people feel like Saifah and Sailom should be freaking out more about their situation, but I kind of feel like that's purposeful? Saifah is an ass. He acts like everything is no big deal, because his little brother is going to be the one busting his butt to save them. He plays the part of the benevolent loving older brother, he buys treats for Sailom, but if it's a choice between Sailom getting beaten or himself, he's fine if it's Sailom.

And I may really be getting in the clown car here, but...who gets an injury that puts them in a desperate situation right at the worst time, when Sailom loses his tutoring job? Who would be in the best position to tell Name where Sailom works, and that Sailom will be easy to convince to accept an offer?

And right now Sailom is still in his "I adore my older brother" phase. It's been just the two of them for so long. He doesn't act stressed in front of Saifah, because when he told Saifah he lost his tutoring job, Saifah's response was, "yeah, rich people suck, huh". He's learned to hide his feelings, because his brother is an ass who will not take them seriously, and his friends will immediately want to try to help him - and he doesn't want help he doesn't feel he's earned. So yeah, we're not seeing his mask slip much yet - but I think we will. He will hit his breaking point.

Ok, and this is where I need to talk about the bubble. Because, yeah, Kang was snapped out of his when he saw Sailom getting beaten. But now - he's just in another one. One where he has accepted his money can't buy Sailom, but where he believes his money can protect Sailom. And right now? Sailom is joining him in this bubble. Why wouldn't he? It feels warm and safe and there's a cute boy inside. They can play games and work by candlelight. (I mean, c'mon, Kang literally put the boy in a VR helmet).

But this bubble, like the first one, is going to burst. And it's going to be rough for both of them.

[collidescopeeyes]

Hi !! Any chance that you're going to write about sett or kayn? Just wondering ehehe, I love your fics so much and I always read them time to time. It fills that void in my heart ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

I have an Order of Shadows (Zed and Kayn/Rhaast) harem fic I've been chipping away at! Unfortunately my mental and physical health has been pretty rock bottom the last few months so I haven't been up to writing much. As for Sett, I had a vague idea for a Roulette Wheel chapter where Iso becomes a pit fighter at his establishment while also unwittingly moving in with his mom, leading to Hijinks, but alas it stayed 90% an idea. Please enjoy this random out of context scene from the 10% however

“You're living with my mom?” He hisses as soon as the door shuts, and it is indeed a hiss; there's some animalistic noise rattling in his chest while he speaks that makes it difficult to be sure which word in that sentence he's actually stressing. Maybe all of them.

You shrug so hard your shoulders go up to your ears, equally agitated. “How was I supposed to know?! This was before I even fucking met you!”

He gestures harshly to his ears, then back towards the door to the dining room, pinning you with a wildly incredulous look. “We're the only two Ottari Vastaya in this entire city, you didn't think?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know that?” You demand. “Why would I assume everyone I meet with fucking animal ears is related!? They could've been fucking…fox ears, or wolves, or something, I don't know, and I'm not going to assume because I'm not about to be some sort of cat-boy racist!”

He squints at you. “Cat boy?” He repeats.

“Cat man, whatever,” you wave a hand at him.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “That's not–whatever, not the issue. You can't tell her. About any of it. You, me, the pit, anything, y’hear me?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Are you asking me to lie to her?”

“I'm telling you to lie to her, as your fucking boss,” he snaps. "It'll break her heart if she finds out."

“Maybe you shouldn't be in a profession that would break her heart in the first place,” you shoot back, scowling.

His lip curls. “Hey, fuck you. What other option do I got, trying to make a decent living for the both of us in this fucking town? You think I haven't been down that road, huh? Who's going to hire a beast-blooded bastard?”

You regret your words immediately. “I didn't mean…I'm sorry, that was a shitty thing for me to say.”

He deflates in turn. “I…fuck.” He turns away, raking a hand through his hair. “Honestly, you're not wrong. She deserves better than being lied to, but I just…I don't feel like I've got much of a choice, y'know? If she knew where the money came from she wouldn't take it, and I ain't going back to watching her kill herself on shit jobs for shit people. Did enough of that growing up,” he says with a scowl.

You sigh. “Sett, I’m historically pretty fucking bad at keeping secrets,” you inform him. “Literally, the only secret I've managed to keep came with a magic shock collar.”

His face scrunches in the way it does when he's not sure if he wants to ask what the fuck you're talking about. “What?”

You wave a dismissive hand at him. “If I talk about a certain point in my life I start…well I can't say what happens, but…y'know what happened to Junbei?”

He blinks. “The bouncer who got glassed? Or the guy who got a razor slipped into his food cuz he was fucking around on his wife?”

You nod. “Yes. Anyway, it's a whole thing, it's not really important.”

“That seems pretty important,” he argues, face scrunch intensifying.

“Anyway, we need to get our stories straight,” you say, blatantly changing the subject. “I've been pretty vague about my work, so I don't think there should be any contradictions, except–” you pause, staring off into space. Then you cringe.

“What? Iso, what?” He asks, alarmed.

You cover your face, groaning. How the fuck are you supposed to explain that she's been trying to set you up with her son? How the fuck were you going to explain that you dodged said set up by telling her you were interested in your cocksure boss, who is apparently also her son? You'd have to leave the country. You'd have to throw yourself into the nearest Void Rift and hope to whatever God had jurisdiction that you didn't fucking embarrass yourself in whatever universe you got spat into next. “Nevermind, don't worry about it.”

“Iso…” he says warningly. You ignore him and go back into the dining room.

[fakeusernamelol]

*cracks knuckles*

THE FUCKING DEPTH TO THAT PATHETIC FORD IS INSANE I need to throw hammers at his headdddd

I love the comparison between those two Fords and I also think it's cool that when you look at the two the first pivotal difference that they had was that kidnapper Ford respected Stan more. I think they're neat and I'm smashing their faces together like barbies

And Stanley. Stanleyyyyyy. Stockholm syndrome is a good way to put it (even if it technically isn't real and was invented because of a mixture of sexism and police misconduct ☝️🤓 --) because Stanley. He is brute forcing things to work out because he would burn down the world for Ford as long as Ford doesn't leave him (and he did try to do that! Canonically! And we're not supposed to ship them somehow!) because Stan is Certain Ford could do better than him if Ford weren't stuck to him at this point (and. Stan doesn't know the twins aren't Carla's and Ford did all this on purpose. He thinks this whole thing is shared blame.) and there's also them being so secluded and codependant meaning Stan is so sure no one could love him as much as Ford does and on the other side Ford doesn't believe he can be understood and accepted as much as Stan does and that would be a great foundation for Ford domestic abusing Stan like in bad ending except. Ford can't leave. He can't even imply he can leave, and he doesn't want to think about that because now Ford has discovered a new option bad ending Ford never did: Stan can leave. Stan isnt really dependant on Ford for his own and his kids' safety, Stan could put him in wet cement leaving only his mouth, nose, and cock out and he would be equally useful to Stan as he is now and I think that's beautiful. Neither of them wants to put the idea of leaving on the table even for manipulation reasons which means they're kind of at a standstill which almost approximates a healthy relationship and I fucking love them

And BILL????

The Bill-Stanley parallels are undeniable, and I can definitely see how Stanley would immediately cut that shit out if he heard abt Bill but also. Bill is a manipulator, and Ford is very easy to be manipulated because Ford is used to a superiority complex and when he sees someone as better than him he kinda just. Relents. So Bill comes in like 'I have infinite knowledge and with that infinite knowledge I know your husband is suffering because of you' and Ford is immediately at attention like 'What? But Stanley loves me he gives me college money and would do anything for me and he loves this life' and Bill immediately goes in with the 'actually remember when you were stressed as shit for that first year, ever since you knocked up Stan? Getting increasingly more and more stressed until Stan took over? You know he did that because you were crumbling under the pressure, because he'd do anything for you and that includes stressing himself sick for the last decade to provide for you when you're more capable than him. If you become the scientist you were meant to be instead of staying a pathetic little school boy on your husband's dime then you can both live well and maybe Stan will be able to sit back and trust you again. You know he doesn't trust you, right? That's why he won't have any more kids with you, because you're not using your talents to help him, because you gave up as a person, now you have the intelligence of a higher being but the self-worth of a dog. I can help you build something, something that will change the world, something worth pardoning your crimes for and give you enough money the man you claim to love will be able to trust you again.' and Ford. Ford at his core just desperately loves Stanley.

Also ur extra made me laugh so hard, cuck Ford real, I need to see bad ending Ford and kidnapper Ford fight to the death

🫎

HOJOJOJO IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT DEAR 🫎

It just did a """ Psychological analysis""" to both Bad Ending and Kidnapper au Stan and get to the conclusion that even if one got his cards more in his favor and didn't let things to increase to even worse they were still pretty fucked up thanks to the manipulation Ford used with them making them still felt like an inferior person than Ford even with the different situation they both were living.

Now, About Bad ending and Kidnapper au Ford indeed their main difference was how each saw Stan.(Again im going to talk about psychological themes without a professional knowledge and just in a superficial way so im sorry if i make any mistake with them 🙇) That is because in Bad Ending au i do imagine Ford as a kind of sociopath, Due to being the only son in the family Ford was raised with the idea of grown up to be a providing and valiant man, the compliments and achievements he has gain thanks to his intelligence were affecting him more than they should, were making him felt that he was someone superior to the rest and all those who bullied him for his intelligence or his unique six fingers were sure jealous for him. He was thinking that he was always right, he knew how things should go, how his future AND the future of his lovingly sister should be. And you say that Kidnapper Ford had a similar reasoning, and thats true! But the thing was Bad Ending ford was really sure of his thoughts and never dared to question himself. He always finded a reasonable reason of why he did the things he did. Because he knowed what wad best for both of them, [] was just to stupid to realise it but there was no problem because she had him to take care of her. He grew up with a mind full of Sexist, Homophobic and general toxic thoughts that didn't help him realise that he was actually just hurting the one he said was the love of his live, his beautiful wife and sister, she was only to him...

Kidnapper au Ford shared similar thoughts but unlike Bad Ending Ford those hateful thoughts weren't so strong in Ford. What was tougher then? His obsession for Stanley. So you know I'm Pretty sure Ford accepted that his sister wanted to be a man and let him have some liberty because he just loved so much stan no matter what he did (As long as everything he did cannot affect their relationship in any way, Yes Stan you can fight with whoever you want and use the clothes you want but don't you dare talking to that girl for more than fifteen seconds or your brother would be very mad at you..) that meaned this Ford was better? eh 🤷 he respected a bit more Stan's desitions but you cant really tell he felt them. (I'm pretty sure Ford would think that he wasn't gay because Stan used to be a woman so it doesn't count and that kind of things you know) Ford saw them more as a whim than something really serious and he allowed it only to keep his beautiful husband happy. But if some decision Stan made was threatening any of his ideals, he would not hesitate to act against it, just as he did by deliberately impregnating Stanley and lie to him in order to keep him away from Carla just to later kidnapping him for the same reason without never asking his opinion of nothing at all!

Also, Ngl you couldn't describe it any better how the whole Bill thing would ended up being XD There was another thing they both shared and is that they were both actually really just some-easy-to-manipulate cowards, So if Stan ever tried to defend himself of Ford that attitude of a brave and authoritarian man will go overboard and Ford would easily become Stan's bitch to please him as he would like. Stan didn't give a fuck if there was one weird geometrical demon telling his brother to take command and show as the real man he was to stan, if he tried to do something or told him something in an authoritarian tone like to have sex with him because he said so he would ended up sleeping outside the shack among the wolves with bruised cheek thanks to the punch stan gave him at the first attempt to get closer to him 🙇🙇

[longlivedelusion]

Hi! Sorry, uhm, TW for SH:

I checked your request guidelines and I didn’t see anything about like, mental illness and stuff so I wasn’t sure if you were against writing comfort fics? If you’re ok with that can I request a Sirius (or Wolfstar) comfort fic where the reader wears a lot of rings and shiny stuff (like a crow) and one of their rings is like, a scratchy wire and he sees some scratches on their arm while they hold the ring and Sirius comforts them?

If you don’t want to then that’s totally okay, but if not can you reply and let me know? My notifications are always weird. Thank you! Sorry!

Hello lovely anon! Thank you for the request, I'm totally fine with mental health related topics if I feel I can cover them and am in the mental space to do so. I'm not personally familiar with this type of SH, but I hope that this offers you enough of what you we're looking for. 🤍

Money Problems

GN!Reader, no use of Y/N. Pet names galore.

Warnings: financial struggles, mentions of SH, some description. Not too graphic, but still please keep yourself safe. If you think you need help, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional or loved ones. 🤍

It had been a rough one today. 

I'd been doing well, or decently enough. Things were looking up and my thoughts weren't so overwhelming these days. I had things to look forward too and overall couldn't complain.

But then I woke up to some unexpected bills glaring from my screen. I checked my bank balance to confirm what I secretly knew, and found the amount... Low. I hadn't splurged really, I just needed to stock up on basic toiletries this month which I usually did every once in a while. I thought it'd be fine, that I could afford it, but now those small things made the difference between being able to pay these new outstanding bills and affording groceries for the next month.

I tried to pull every penny I could, calculating how I could manage the new payment, but it still wasn't tallying up right. 

My hands started to fidget as I tried to come up with a plan. 

I'd have to cut on some things again, probably cancel my plans for the rest of the month that involved money, which meant most of the outings with my friends. I'd also have to cancel my trip to the north with Sirius, as much as we'd both been excited and planning to go... There was just no way I could manage my cut of it. 

I started to spiral my rings, trying to let the friction soothe me. But the more they spun, the more my mind did too. I felt my body grow tense and my chest tighten as the numbers on the screen blurred together. A scratch caught my attention, my small, barbed wire ring leaving a fresh mark on my finger. I felt my body as if it almost sighed in relief at the sensation, familiar. Comforting.

I tried to shake it off, but none of my usual soothing techniques seemed to wanna work at the moment and my mind wouldn't shut off. 

It was just a little scratch. It's fine.

After a few moments I heard the door unlock, my breathing slightly regulated at this point but body still buzzing with the unresolved stress. I tried to put on a smile as Sirius walked in, motorcycle helmet in hand as he shook off the rain. 

"Fucking hell, it's a mess out there! I could barely see on the way back." He took off his drenched leather jacket ad he spoke, walking in with a big smile on his face despite the weather.

"Want a cuppa?" I said already standing and walking towards the kitchen, keen to move my body and hopefully shake off the lingering anxiousness. 

"Yeah, let me change real quick and I'll be right out!" He said, moving to our shared bedroom and shutting the door behind.

I reached for a cup and started to brew some tea, body on autopilot as my mind kept moving. How would I tell Sirius about the trip? He's been so looking forward to this and I'm tired of him paying for so much or having to cancel because of me, I-

I was so stuck my head that I didn't hear him sneak up behind me, arms finding my waist as he always did. "Guess who found the perfect spot for our trip next week? That's right, your incredible and dashing boyfriend that is. I asked James if he knew of any good places and he mentioned- hey, what's wrong love?"

My grip around our cups had tightened, my body rigid as Sirius spoke. I hadn't realized I'd done it until he mentioned it. I tried to force my body to relax, taking as casual of a deep breath as I could. "Nothing, nothing. Just... A bit of a headache is all. Here's your tea by the way."

I felt his eyes on me, calculating, reading. 

"What's this?" He said, breathless.

I turned to him slightly and found him looking down at my arm, the small mark from earlier spread up the length of my arm. 

"Oh nothing, just accidentally bumped int-"

"Love," Sirius said, not accusingly. He turned my body to face him now, leaning his forehead against mine and looked at me with so much love and understanding. As if I couldn't hide from him, never from him. 

I let out a sigh. "I got some unexpected bills today." I started, fingers moving the rings again nervously.

He looked down at the movement and then back up, his hand casually reaching for mine. "Yes?" I felt his hand stay there, softly stilling my movements.

"And... I..." My hands twitched against Sirius's, his thumb brushing across my wrist. My voice came out shakily. "I can't do the trip anymore. Or anything else this month. I'm sorry." 

He let out a sigh, looking up incredulously. "Is that all? Darling, I don't care about the trip. We can go at any time. Besides, you know I can cover the exp-"

"No. No, I don't, I can't -" I started, body instinctually moving back but his hand on my waist stopped my movements.

"Hey, hey it's okay. We don't have to talk about it now." He started, eyes wide. "If you don't want to go, I'm more than happy to postpone for another time yeah? It doesn't have to happen now my love, we can always go later. It's ok." 

"But... You shouldn't have to cancel your plans because of me all the time. I hate that I can't do things, that I'm always scrounging for enough money for the month and that I can't just... Go out. Go places with you. Take you out for once." My breathing came out unsteady, tears gradually slipping down my face.

His hand on my waist moved to my cheek, wiping at the wetness. One hand always stayed on mine though. "If it's gonna make you this stressed, it isn't worth it then." He lifts my hand then, gently stroking the finger with the barbed ring. "May I?"

I look away with shame, but give a nod. I feel as he slowly removes my rings one by one, setting them down on the counter before going back to my hand. I felt both hands on it now as he gave it a gentle message, the movements making my body melt as I rested my head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I said again, mumbling against him.

"You don't have to apologize. Not for this." He said, the unsaid words lingering between the lines. He pressed a kiss to your hand before letting it go, reaching for the other, the arm with the damning evidence. He simply lifted it up, kissed that hand as well, and then let them settle back around you.

He kept you close to him, his face buried in your hair as he gently soothed you. The deep thrum of his voice lulling you as he hummed a familiar tune, keeping you there a while. There was no intention to move or leave any time soon, no pressure to think about the day or the future. He just let you take the comfort you needed, for as long as you needed. That is until he eventually suggested dinner. 'Leftovers and whatever that show is that you're obsessed with right now?' he said. His presence never leaving your side, his hands always reaching back for you in some way. 

He was always exactly what you needed.

[destinygoldenstar]

🌟Ellie Continues To Be A Stupid Schemer🌟 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 3 Episode 3 “H2Oh-No!”

"This guy did everything wrong."

No shit he's an asshole. That's what I think is the point.

Idk, the garbage route would be if they portrayed him as 100% in the right and some pure soul who did nothing bad whatsoever.

But I feel like he's gonna get called out and learn a lesson at some point.

And if he stays an asshole till he gets eliminated and that's how his story ends? Well idk what to tell ya. I called it.

I totally get the "he's annoying" take though. I get why.

He just doesn't annoy me. Instead he intrigues me.

Like yeah he's a very VERY flawed character, but it's because of his flaws that I find him so interesting of a character to grasp onto.

Plus I also get why he's acting like this.

So yeah, I'm here for the 'Jake Being An Asshole' arc.

Enjoy it while it lasts, ya know? Cause he's gonna be gone a couple episodes later.

Again though, I get not liking him. Just saying I do.

Anyway, let's start this episode!

Yeah, they're ALWAYS painting Jake as 100% in the wrong in these recaps.

I mean, if you had to choose between painting him in a positive light or a negative light, I'm kinda glad it's negative. Just because assholes that parade around being an asshole and then get treated as the best person in the world is ANNOYING AS ALL SHIT.

I'm glad they're not doing that.

*Grammarly Ad*

Fuck Grammarly though. What a brainwashing tool for writers.

AND EVERY EPISODE IS GONNA START WITH OLIVER GETTING KILLED! XD

Still don't get the Hunter and Allyson fighting though. That still does not make sense to me.

I always associated both of them being very chill people. So it's kinda forced.

Oh my god it's raining again!

This just becomes a thing all season.

THE CAMP IS FLOODED BY THE END XD

"I wonder how the others are doing."

The others:

(You will not believe how much porn I scrolled through to get that GIF)

Oh yay! Bullying Yul!

Riya, you have my permission to bully Yul.

"Let go of me you Hazbin!"

🙄

Just pull his hair out, Riya.

I wouldn't want to catch a cold in the rain with nowhere to hide either.

"I agree with the brat. I'm not your daughter!"

Girl, he's just trying to look after you.

I get you're cold and wet and frustrated. Calm down.

"You should apologize to him."

"Why should I?"

"Because he's the only one here willing to put up with your crap."

Oof.

Riya, you know she's right.

I mean she does care about Connor, but she also doesn't like being told what to do.

"How dare you tell me not to bully Yul! It's what Golden wants, Connor! You have to understand!"

"It's like handling a bunch of kindergarteners."

One.

One kindergardener.

"I can understand Yul behaving like this, but Riya? I thought she'd know better."

"What happened to you?!"

"Connor, I'm so close to winning, and I'm not stopping now!"

"Do you really want to win like that?"

"I mean, it got results, didn't it?"

"It's easy for you to say! You have money! You've never had to feel lost or without a future!"

Uh... I hate to tell you this, Connor...

But no. No she doesn't.

"Maybe that's just who she is."

Hurts. But true.

Fame gets to your head, and in some cases like Riya's, being yourself and staying humble worsens your success.

And when you base your identity based off of this character, it becomes harder to differentiate it from yourself. And then eventually that character just IS YOU.

"I know Riya. She's sweet and kind, and I'd trust her with my life. But this persona that comes out every time we're on camera... it's not who she is."

Connor, you're gonna be devastated.

Unless she snaps out of it and redeems herself. That's possible too.

"She's under a lot of stress, and I know it's because of her on screen reputation and all that... I try to be understanding but... sometimes, she makes it really hard."

"I can fix her." You can't. That's the thing.

...

"I CAN FIX HER!"

"You can't make people change, Connor. Unless she wants to, she will always be this way."

Good advice from Alec, hello?

"For my next showing, I shall introduce the concept of change! Here is how I change from a bunny to a snake and how that is a change that is necessary to get on the top of the food chain of the world!"

NO RIYA YOU NEED PREY! THE CHAIN WILL JUST COLLAPSE ON ITSELF!

"But awhile ago, someone I was very close to tried to change who I was."

Oh?

"I wasn't able to figure it out for myself until it was too late. No matter what she told me, I was... still the same man she couldn't stand."

Aw.

I'm glad that's getting expanded on.

Cause yeah, you never want to date anyone who just wants to change you. If you love them and want to be in a relationship with them, you gotta love them for who they are.

"Ever since I lost on my season, I rewatched it over and over to see where I went wrong."

"Trusting that darn Demon Child! What the hell was I thinking? I should not be a father!"

"I think my biggest failure was sticking with Fiore."

👏

DUDE REALIZING HIS MISTAKES? LET'S GO!!

"This time, I'll make sure to put myself out there and find new allies."

Okay, go off king!

Wow, I don't think I ever said this to Alec.

Is this season gonna make me like Alec more?

"It was a bad idea to target Fiore."

You didn't know Ashley was gonna do that. It could have been worse.

You could've voted out each other.

"Have you noticed Jake and Ashley talking all day? I'm worried they could be a threat."

Jake? A threat?

Don't make me laugh.

Ashley though, probably.

She's the one charging this.

"Maybe we need Fiore."

Ooh, okay.

"No way! We'll just keep losing challenges!"

Well then you get Ashley or Jake out the next time you lose, and then the next time you boot Fiore.

"We can't get distracted like last time! Part of the audience is gonna hate us again!"

Huh?

Who...?

What does that have to do with ANYTHING?

Don't look at me as a part of that 'audience hater' group. WASN'T ME!

The audience isn't dictating anything. What?

"Is that all you care about now? What the audience thinks?"

It factors NOTHING.

"You know that's not what I mean! I can't go through several months of scrolling through non-stop hate comments like that again!"

WELCOME TO THE INTERNET.

Aren't you a streamer? EXPECT THAT SHIT.

I get hate comments too. But you have fans. You have people that like you. And you're successful.

Hate comments aren't going to destroy your career.

UNLESS you fight them and make a big deal about them.

Which is exactly what you are doing here.

I... Allyson. Honey.

EVER HEARD OF BLOCKING?

I mean look, it sucks. I don't deny that.

Getting hate comments suck. They hurt.

BUT when you're active online, you kinda get numb to it. At least from my experience. Ignore it. If you're being harassed, block it. It's that easy.

Allyson is a gamer. She has a Twitch career. She's been exposed to this already for years.

I THINK SHE SHOULD ABSOLUTELY KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS ALREADY.

I don't like the "Oh but this character is an adult they should know better." Criticism.

Because age is just 'how long have you been alive'. Depending on where you live, where you work, what you work on, and what you're exposed to socially, physically, or emotionally, that's what plays into your experiences and what you do and don't know.

So that's why I'm using her career as the baseline here. Not her age.

"This character has this lifestyle and has had this life experience and has learned this lesson and this is what they are exposed to. They should know better than this."

No one is saying Jinx is a teenager so therefore she should know better than to murder people.

"Whatever."

XD

Even Hunter agrees with me.

Allyson needs to touch grass.

"She cares so much about what others think! Does it not matter at all what I think?"

Apparently not.

It's super out of character to me. Because Season 2 Allyson was very chill and very considerate and open minded and she clearly did not care what others thought of her.

"Yeah I know you said sled, but I wanna make a snowboard!"

Stuff like that is cute. That tells me something about her character.

That tells me she doesn't care what other think of her.

Idk, maybe there's more context than they're saying right now. Things change in between seasons.

Maybe later they'll say her career is actually IN DANGER because the hate or something.

You're playing a board game on the clock?!

Oh its Monopoly.

That game ruins relationships.

"But isn't that... not very nice?"

Oh yeah I forgot Trevor is technically the nice one.

OH SHIT DID THE PINK TEAM DIE?!

"We didn't last the night, guys..."

Awww.

That's gotta hurt Aiden.

His love is out of the game already.

YOU WANNA KNOW WHOSE FAULT IT IS?

XD

NO SHOT JUST CUTS TO JAKE'S EYE ROLL XD

"Aw boo hoo, my love is gone! Awwwwww... HOW DOES IT FEEL?! IF I'M NOT HAPPY, NO ONE SHOULD BE!"

"Who could possibly hate him?"

Uhhhhh...

I WAS gonna raise my hand, but... I guess that's not true...

This was actually exactly what I wanted though, so...

Derek just looks dead inside.

"Eat me now sharks."

"It's just that... scuba diving didn't end to well for me last time."

AWWWW HONEY!!

HONEY I CAN'T HATE YOU!

Yeah that makes sense. She has PTSD from almost drowning and no one being there for her.

"Promise you won't leave me."

Aw❤️

Even as an Evil Queen, she's still vulnerable and feels things.

"You two can go together, I'll go with my darling Yul-"

HOW ABOUT YOU DON'T DO THAT?

"So how do I look? Could I be a runway model?"

XD

He's such a dork XD

I love you, but respectfully: NO.

"Wait, who am I going with?"

Yeah. Sure. Leave the child for shark food.

Watch Team Victory over here have Fiore as its longest standing member.

"Be careful! It's dark in there!"

*Goes in anyway*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

😂

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!"

"That's it! I'm going after them!"

NO YOU'RE NOT!

"Please tell me you're all okay."

😂

I'm sorry, this is TOO FUNNY.

"Are you okay?"

"WE ARE BEING CHASED BY A SHARK!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!"

"Yeah but is it aggressive?"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?!"

"Do you need help?"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!"

"...do you need me to pay your medical bill?"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP US!!!"

"Hey guys I think they're okay."

"Let's go!"

"I can't! It's too dark."

Poor Riya is stuggling.

Oh she's gonna have an attack.

You gotta get her out of here.

OH YEP I WOULD SCREAM TOO.

UM... THAT WAS A GOOD BLOCK EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT YOU'RE DROWNING NOW!

And they have to sit out now.

"Thank you for saving me... and standing by my side."

Awwww ❤️

She does care!

"I know... I've been mistreating you again. I'm sorry for that too."

HONEY.

She DOES feel remorse for her bad actions, she just doesn't like showing vulnerability.

"You're trying, and that's all I can ask. I'll always be there for you."

Awwwww. ❤️

Oh?

"I need to be honest. At the very least, you deserve that."

"I know you came back to the show for me, and I... really like you, Connor. But I came here to win. I don't want there to be anymore confusion."

"I've been trying to push you away because... I thought it'd hurt less when... Look, you have to stay away from me."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore! Don't you see?"

THIS.

THIS RIGHT HERE.

WE STAN RIYA IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.👑

Damn I love this character.

She doesn't want Connor here cause she knows she'll hurt him and lose him if she lets her villainess self take over so she's trying to save him while she still can 😥

She doesn't want to hurt him so it's better if he's not here.

That explains why she didn't look enthusiastic about them being on the same team in the first episode too.

"You're a good man Connor, but... in order to win this game, I can't keep trying to go down the honorable path. That's not how this industry works."

The philosophy she picked up on from Season 2.

CONSISTENCY! WE LOVE IT!

And that's exactly what I've been saying this entire time.

So there you go. It's canon that this is what's going on.

"I thought you wanted to be better. That's why you came back."

She never said that, dude. Hate to say it.

Like, I love Riya, but I don't defend her behavior. When I do, it's a joke. (<- SO I MAKE THIS CLEAR)

"We shouldn't be each others burdens anymore. We need to take some time apart."

Honestly, that's understandable.

"Is that what I am to you? A burden?"

"Yes... but I'm a burden to you too, so I guess this makes us even... I MEAN, AHEM, FOR MY NEXT SHOWING, I'M BURDENING EVERYONE! WHAT DO YOU WANT? RESPONSIBILITY? LUGGAGE? THE BURDEN OF THE SOUL?!"

NO RIYA!!!

"I'm sorry. I hope you respect me enough to keep playing the game together, but we can't be anything more than that."

I mean... if that's what she wants...

"Seeing Connor protect me from that eel brought out a side of me I don't want to see again!"

RIYA😥❤️

I love that though. I love that she approached him very honestly and told him exactly what is going on and what her priorities are.

I like that scene.

"I feel bad Ashley."

"For voting out James. What if there really is nothing going on with Tom and Aiden?"

Oh wow.

I mean, he said this last episode too.

Jake actually FEELING BAD about his poor actions.

I love it. I love you.

"Do you trust Alec?"

"No, not at all."

BOOM.

WHAT DID I SAY LAST TIME?!?!

THIS JUST CONFIRMED THAT I WAS RIGHT!

It's not that he believes Alec, it's that he has a terrible social life since his season and he's hurt by it, and no one is helping him figure it out.

I am NAILING my analysis on what's going on here!

I'm kinda proud of myself!

"I felt something really strange when I saw them together, but now the only thing I feel is guilt."

🎵"What is this feeling fervid as a flame? Does it have a name? YEEEESSSS!"🎵

I'm sorry. That's what got in my head.

"There's no changing the past, Jake. We just have to keep moving forward."

Good message.

That's gonna be his arc. Moving on.

WAIT THAT MEANS HE AND TOM ARE NEVER GONNA WORK! SHIT!! 😭💔

Oh well. That's the message. It do be like that sometimes.

Cause obviously I do not ship them at all.

"Guilt can consume if you let it. Trust me, I've been there before."

Oh?

Ashley characterization?

"It happened awhile ago..."

OH SHIT-

COME ON. NO. I WANNA HEAR THE BACKSTORY.

I mean, I criticized cutting away before we can get details we should know before.

AT LEAST IT'S NOT CUTTING AWAY THIS TIME! THERE'S AN ACTUAL PRACTICAL THING DISTRACTING IT!

CONGRATS ODDNATIONS! YOU LEARNED!

DAMN TOM JUST KNOCKED A SHARK IN ONE HIT!!

LOOK AT YOU DUDE!!

"Hey Ashley?"

"What?"

"I think I'm still in love..."

"Oh brother..."

😂

The cuts to Jake's PISSED FACE is KILLING ME.

"AYO, WHERE'S MY HUG?! HELLO?!?!"

"You see that? I know I'm not crazy!"

"Nah, you crazy."

I don't...

That is NOT reading to me as 'Aiden cheating on James with Tom.'

That's more so reading to me as 'Tom is open and friendly and confident around someone that isn't Jake, and Jake, because of the two years apart, can't process that well so it's ticking him off to see him getting along with someone else.'

But if it is the former, then it's bad. But it's hilariously bad.

I'm having fun, strangely enough.

🎵"What is this feeling fervid as a flame? Does it have a name? YEEEESSSS!"🎵

🎵"LOATHING! UNADULTURATED LOATHING!"🎵

I'm sorry I've been listening to this song on loop XD

Jealousy. The word for this context is jealousy.

But I think loathing works too cause I think he hates Aiden. Just a hunch though.

"Whatever it is, I'll help you get to the bottom of it!"

ASHLEY W?!

WHERE WAS THIS MATURE AND UNDERSTANDING RESPONSE, JAMES?!

"Of course! That's what friends are for!"

Oh! Okay!

I did not expect this.

Jake and Ashley friendship was NOT on my bingo card or in my predictions AT ALL.

But I'm here for it!

"In fact, I was just thinking... what would y'all think of a girls alliance?"

Ooh. Okay.

Ellie is being smart this time??

"My girlfriend is so smart!"

Most of the time, no.

BUT this is the smartest plan she has ever made.

Majority alliance off the bat and securing it? GOOD IDEA.

"What were you saying to Jake in the previous challenge?"

Oh Miriam's on it.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO MY GRANDSON?!"

"If I find out you're trying to manipulate him, you'll have to answer to me! You hear?!"

WOOF.

"DON'T EVER TALK TO ME OR MY GRANDSON EVER AGAIN!"

Oh god is Team Victory gonna lose AGAIN?!

"Fiore? What are you doing here alone?"

"NEGLECT."

"I didn't even do anything!"

FLASHBACK TO ALL OF SEASON 1.

"If Fiore's team wins, Jake is on that team. They would both be safe."

Oh that's a good point.

Yeah cause we haven't seen Allyson or Hunter in awhile! This team is way behind!

PINK TEAM SUCKS.

"Let's find a way for the Cyan Team to lose."

Oh okay.

Wait, it's CYAN?

Uh, okay, I haven't been paying attention to that.

"Hey my fish-for-brains teammates!"

XD

"I just want you all to know, YOU SUCK AND I HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE KIDS. I AM GOING TO FILE A NEGLECT CHARGE."

"How did that girl find all the clues so quickly?"

How are you guys so bad at finding said clues?

"You're so cute when you're frustrated!"

What did they do to you Grett?

Why are you so infatuated with this man?

It hurts my soul.

I'm deeply upset that they did this to her.

NO.

NO.

OH-

OKAY THAT SCARED ME.

Oh fuck you Yul!

Oh wow, Yul is abusive? Who would've thought? That's totally not in his character to be an abusive piece of shit.

Save Grett.

Get her away from this man.

"Sometimes, I feel like Yul acts a little distant towards me... maybe physical affection isn't his thing."

No. He's just a piece of shit.

Oh here we go.

"I think I lost my team, and I'm running out of oxygen!"

"Sounds like a you problem."

DAMN ELLIE.

SHE REALLY WANTS THIS LADY DEAD.

"She's lying. Wouldn't be the first time."

Then why are you falling for it?

If you're suspicious, don't do it.

And y'all are saying Jake is naive and falls for everything right away? LOOK AT THESE BOZOS!

"We've been bamboolzled!"

*gasp* Who would have thought?

"I thought we were friends, Miriam!"

"And I thought you would call!"

GOT HIM.

"Someone needs to slap this girl upside her head."

NO!

DON'T MAKE A QUEEN HIT A QUEEN!

What are you cooking?

That looks burnt!

"Girls, I'm worried about Lake. Her friendship with Aiden seems a lot stronger than I thought."

What?

Where the hell is that coming from?

"Do you think she's not committed to our alliance?"

Okay, then get Tom out.

Tom being here is a massive detriment to Ellie's game anyway.

"I'd prefer it to be Tom."

There you go. It's perfect.

"Actually, the three of us were thinking Aiden. Tom's more useful to us for physical challenges."

You girls underestimate your own power.

You're not wrong, but don't doubt yourself like that.

"I thought you said we could handle ourselves. We don't need Tom's strength."

Lake just saying exactly what I said.

"Are you saying you won't vote for Aiden?"

No. She said she thinks Tom is the better option.

"I'm saying we should make it an easy vote and get Tom out."

AGAIN, LAKE'S JUST SAYING WHAT I'M SAYING.

"Well, I'm voting for Aiden."

ELLIE, DO YOU WANT YOUR ALLIANCE OR NOT?!

YOU HAVE TO LOCK IT IN AND EARN THEIR TRUST!

"If we don't vote together, this alliance won't work!"

THANK YOU.

"Voting Tom out means Lake would have both Aiden and Tess by her side. No way in hell I'm letting that happen."

AAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDD we're back to Ellie being stupid!

Lake, Aiden, and Tess are currently NOT gunning for you at all!

Tom on the other hand, IS!

If you keep him, HE'S GONNA GET AN OPENING TO GET YOU OUT.

You NEED to lock in your alliance! And come merge and all five of you are still here? Aiden will also join you!

DON'T DO THIS.

For fuck's sake, Ellie...

"Well, they're probably discussing which of us to vote for."

Even Tom gets what's happening.

"Ellie, I know what you're doing! You think I'm stupid?!"

"Lake, you have to vote with us!"

"Sorry, but I won't. I hope you can respect my decision, Ellie."

Ellie what are you doing?

Just vote Tom.

"Before everyone goes to vote, there's something I have to say."

Oh great. Here we go.

"And here comes the big lie everybody! Right on schedule!"

XD

YEAH. PRETTY MUCH.

"For your information, Ellie's been trying to save you all afternoon."

Yeah, for some stupid reason.

"Lake formed a girls alliance."

WHY WOULD YOU EXPOSE YOUR ALLIANCE?!

JUST WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

"And she's been trying to convince us to vote for you all afternoon."

And what was wrong with that?

You're ruining everything cause you're bringing all this up in front of them.

"It's time for you to realize who your enemies really are Tom, and it's not me."

No, all you convinced was that he has more than one enemy.

"Gabby and I will be voting for you."

AND NOW YOU'RE VOTING LAKE-

YOU NEED LAKE! SHE WAS WILLING TO HELP YOU!!

WHY DON'T YOU SECURE YOUR ALLIANCE?!

ELLIE OH MY GOD

Some things never change...

"How can you trust her after what she just did?!"

You know what makes this worse?

I JUST SAID that the only person that was gunning for Ellie was Tom.

If Ellie kept her alliance secured, she could've had everyone on the team on her side.

By doing THIS, SHE PAINTS A TARGET ON HER BACK THAT EVERYONE IS SHOOTING FOR.

THIS WILL COST YOU THE ENTIRE GAME IF YOU GET RID OF LAKE.

YOU ARE A FUCKING DUMBASS!

"Tess, are you with us?"

Oh...

She's not. It's written all over her face.

What is Tess gonna do here...?

'ELLIE'

Don't look surprised. You caused this.

'LAKE'

Shit.

'ELLIE'

'LAKE'

'TOM'

Whoa what?

XD

Tom's like "AYO WHAT THE FUCK?"

Was that Tess?

SHIIIIIIIITTT.

NOOOO I LOVE YOU LAKE.

I mean I expected her to go Pre-Merge, but I thought she would last longer than this!

Dammit!

"No Lake! First James, and now you?!"

Oh shit Aiden is gonna go through it.

He lost both of his confidantes back to back.

"I'm sorry Lake. I was caught in the middle and I... couldn't decide."

Hey I don't blame Tess. Ellie kinda proved she couldn't be trusted.

And on the bright side, you showed Ellie the consequences of her actions by proving "NO, IF YOU ACT LIKE THIS, I WILL NOT SIDE WITH YOU."

And she throws her vote on Tom.

That's a good message to send to her.

"I hope you don't mind I did that Tom. No hard feelings!"

"Yeah yeah! Of course! No hard feelings! It's all good! Where's my gun?"

"Don't worry Tess. I understand. I know you're not the kind to bend your morals for a cash prize."

Yeah.

GOOD FOR YOU, TESS!!! STANDING UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN!!👏👑

XD

The Ellie slander.

Awwww, bye Lake. I'm sorry.

"Contrary to what some say, I'm not stupid."

XD

"I seen the allegations that I am stupid! But I promise you I am not!"

"I know Ellie was only saving me to help her own game, but Lake? Lake was outright gunning for me."

Yeah, I mean, what else could Tom have done here?

And look on the bright side. No one is siding with Ellie anymore and knows she's a threat.

Except for Gabby. But what is she gonna do? It's two to three.

Especially since Tess made it clear she ain't on Ellie's side. She can flip and that'll be that.

Ellie ruined her entire game because of this ONE MOVE.

I have a good reason to dunk on Ellie's 'strategy' AGAIN!

Some things never change! Ellie is STILL stupid!

Dammit, am I gonna have to make ANOTHER list of things Ellie could've done instead here?

Let me know if you guys want that.

I think she just screwed over her entire game.

Girls Alliance. Okay. Good idea. Effective idea. Put yourself in a majority.

COMMIT TO IT.

DON'T FIGHT WITH YOUR ALLIES AT THE STARTING LINE!

You have to lock in the alliance. You NEED Lake around!

And what was wrong with booting Tom exactly? I get physicality, but you yourself said the girls combined can handle things just fine. And on top of that, Tom was gunning for you.

Aiden, Lake, Tess, they WEREN'T.

UNTIL YOU DID THIS.

AND NOW ALL THREE OF THEM JOIN TOM IN GUNNING FOR YOU.

YOU'RE BONED!

Even if Tom wasn't gunning for you, I would STILL SAY that it's better if you secure your girls alliance and understand your allies interests.

Lake is friends with Aiden. Tess believes in loyalty as the best policy. So do a move that is in both of their interests.

But now you got rid of Lake, and now no one trusts you because you have established to everyone on your team that you are a threat.

Though, I kinda knew they weren't gonna boot Tom. Tom is tied to established plotlines.

God, poor Lake man. I knew it. I knew she wouldn't make merge. But second boot? Geez.

But Ellie was like this in Season 1 too. So what changed, really? I expect this.

I think the only thing I'm really REALLY raising an eyebrow at in terms of consistency is Allyson's whole "The Internet hates me". Like... what the hell is this? I don't understand this yet.

Everything else besides Yul is actually fine so far.

Cooking with Jake. Cooking with Riya. I'm very happy with how these two are so far. Gabby is slaying already and being the one reasonable girl here. I think she's winning.

Somebody put Ellie back in Scheming 101!

[helluvasinsxhazbinoverlords]

"Okay, first meeting with all of us in one room. Yeah, now we're really a team!" Lucifer exclaimed excitedly as he sat down at the table. "So... what do we do now that we're all in one room?" Saying this caused all the other Sins to groan in annoyance with the exception of Belphegor.

"You seriously went through all this trouble to get all of us together, and you have no idea what to talk about? This was a waste of my fucking time." Satan would huff, smoke coming out of his mouth doing this action.

"Relax Satan, you stress too much. We'll just wing it like we always do. What's the worse that could happen?" Beelzebub asked, placing her feet on the table, only to have them lightly pushed off by Belphegor.

"I say we start by continuing to divide territory as we've been attempting to do. With all of us in one place it'll be far easier." Belphegor would summon a small flame, blowing on it to reveal seven rings. "We already agreed that Lucifer shall have the top ring to easily speak with Heave. Satan shall have the bottom and work on his creation which he named imps and being training them for battle. I shall have the middle to move any Angelic Steel we may get from the top to the bottom. That leaves four more rings."

"I call dibs on the second ring!" Beelzebub would raise her hand. "If those angels do decided to come down and start shit I want to be ready to fuck them up!"

"Fuck that, I want the second ring! If anyone is going to know how to move Angelic Steel down to Belphegor easy and safely it's gonna be me. Besides, plenty of money to be made from any sinners that come down." Mammon wasn't going to pass up on the second ring.

"Does anyone else want a shot at the second ring?" Lucifer asked, though none raised their hands. "Well, looks like it's between Beelzebub and Mammon then."

"Alright, then the rest of us will vote on it. Beelzebub on the second ring for quick response time if Heaven decides to attack or Mammon on the second ring for easy and safe transfer of Angelic Steel. Is that fair for you two?" Belphegor asked which got a nod from both of them.

"Alright, all for Beelzebub on second ring show of hands," Lucifer said which got Satan and Leviathan would raise their hands. "All for Mammon on the second ring." Belphegor and Asmodeus would raise their hands. "Fucking, seriously? Ugh, I HATE tie breakers." The fallen angel would slouch in his chain.

"Come on, you know it'd be better to have me ready to fight angels as fast as possible. I'm the third strongest here." Beelzebub wasn't going to back down easily.

"Nah, we need to move any Angelic Steel quick before Heaven can get their hands back on it. It'd be hard to even hold our ground without Angelic Steel anyway. Can't fight them if we don't have any armor or nothing." It seemed Mammon wasn't going to back down either.

"I'd like to change my vote." Leviathan's heads would speak up. "I didn't consider that so I think Mammon should get the second ring, and then I can have the third ring to forge and shape the steel before sending it to Belphegor for checking."

"Wha- Aw come on, this is fucking bull shit guys! You're really going to give Mammon the second ring?" Beelzebub was rather irritated at the way things were going.

"That all depends. Show of hands for Mammon to have the second ring and Leviathan to have the third with the proposed plan?" All the Sins expect for Beelzebub would raise their hand with the exception of Lucifer as he was meant to be the tie breaker.

"Fine, but I at least want the fifth ring for me and my hellhounds to get first pick of what comes down when I get them made. That cool with you Oz?" Beelzebub asked, slouching in her seat and crossing her arms.

"That's fine with me. I'd rather keep my creations far from any fighting or angels once I finish them." Asmodeus was fine with the sixth ring.

"Alright, then territory has been decided. Once this meeting is adjourned we can all get started on setting up our rings, system, and moving things along." Belphegor would make the magic diagram of rings disappear.

"Alright, see? First meeting is going perfectly. So, anything else on the, uh, docket, I think is the word?" Lucifer asked, though was met with complete silence. "Oh, uh, I guess the meeting is adjourned then."

After that it didn't take long for the Sins to clear out with the exception of Belphegor. "Well, all things considered, I truly believe that went well. I expected all out war, though they all managed pretty well. Good job Luci."

"Yeah, well, it still could've been better. I thought we were all friends now. We even came up with the name Seven Deadly Sins together." Lucifer would slouch in his seat.

"This is all still new Luci. Just give them time to adjust to a more stable way of things. After all, we used to just run around Hell trying to keep sinners in line. Now we have a cities, rules, and structure." Belphegor would then stand up. "It may take time, though we'll all find our footing. Just take it easy until then." The Sloth Sin would teleport to her ring.

"Alright, I will." Lucifer managed to say before Belphegor teleports away. The fallen angel just slouched in his chair while trying to come up with some good ideas on how to sort things out faster.

[icarus-suraki]

1, 7, and 9 for the movie ask!

It occurs to me that I could just answer Goncharov (1972) for all of these…

Movie Questions Ask Bait!

->what is your favorite film of all time? Very possibly Mad Max: Fury Road. That movie rewired my brain. That movie scraped the rust off my soul. That movie sneaked up behind me and stole my spine. And it was great.

I literally went to see it in the theater seven (7) times. Seven. If you dig back in my blog here to June 2015, you'll see that this place was full of Fury Road. Stills, gifs, music, meta, fic, shitposts, all of it. All of it.

Sidebar: I think my absolute love of Fury Road is what's keeping me from wanting to see the new Furiosa prequel: Fury Road didn't explain everything to death so we, the fandom, had a great time imagining explanations or making things up. We dissected that movie and we also left it alone. I don't want to know too much. I like that world being left a partial mystery. We, like Max, get thrown into it and we're both figuring out how it works as the story progresses. I love that.

I can't exactly explain why I love it so much. The colors, the action, the fight scenes, the music (holy shit the music), the characters, the weirdness, the story itself, the callbacks and parallels, the newness and the oldness of it (it really is a train robbery movie at its core), the sense (ultimately) of hope, the presences of women (old women even!) in action roles… Something about it, maybe everything about it, were just perfect for me at that time and in that place.

Yeah. Favorite movie ever.

->name a movie you’re emotionally attached to? There's so many ways I could take this. Positive attachment? Negative attachment? Very Strange Time in My Life attachment?

Like, I know I can never watch L'Illusionniste, Les Triplettes de Belleville, or Grave of the Fireflies again because I cried just too fucking hard at each of them, which I think is an emotional attachment.

Or I could say the Lord of the Rings movies (all of them). They came out when I was in college and a handful of us were counting down the days to the premiere, watching this miniscule clip of video taken by a fan from a train that showed a glimpse of the Minas Tirith set endlessly, gobbling up any news or leak or rumor about production on Livejournal, engaging in the fandom of that era (which was a whole thing in and of itself), even going to midnight local premiers. So while I'm not a huge fan of the movies, they certainly were a constant presence in my undergrad days.

Or it could be the other movies that rewired my brain: Mad Max: Fury Road (see above), Princess Mononoke (baby's first Studio Ghibli film in 1999 at the local art house theater), Star Wars (only episodes 4, 5, and 6 though; I kind of deny that any others exist), Kiki's Delivery Service (which I had on VHS in college and would watch when I was stressed and depressed because I love the city), Voices of a Distant Star (the concept really got me)…

Or it could be the kids' movies from my own childhood, you know? Robin Hood (1973) is very near and dear to my heart. And Panda and the Magic Serpent is what started me down the weaboo road way back when I was 6 years old.

There's so many possible answers here. But that's a few movies I have emotional attachments to. How's that?

->guilty pleasure movie? Do I have to? Okay, okay, okay: I like a good cheesy, gory giallo movie, red tempra paint blood and all. Spaghetti westerns are amazing with their half-understandings or misunderstandings of USAmerican history to the point that it becomes something different, something bigger and more epic (I love The Good, The Bad and the Ugly so much). Martial arts movies full of dramatic scenes and wire-fu are so much fun (and I get to practice my Mandarin or my Japanese). Gothic drama, especially from the 1990s, is great like the original IwtV, Crimson Peak, The Crow…

But I paid actual, real, hard-earned money for a (digital) copy of Bloodsport and it's so bad. It's so bad! But I love it--maybe as much for meta reasons as anything.

Like, the whole thing is based on this Canadian-American guy Frank Dux's memoirs about being trained in ninjutsu by a mysterious Senzo "Tiger" Tanaka (who probably didn't exist at all and has the same name as a character in You Only Live Twice) and then going on to compete in this international full-contact underground martial arts competition in Hong King (the "Kumite"). Oh and he was also in the military at the time, doing covert missions, so he had to go AWOL to fight in this competition of course. Which he does without being caught. And he keeps outsmarting the CID officers (one of whom is played by a young Forest Whitaker) when they chase him to Hong Kong, meanwhile picking up an April O'Neill-style beautiful American journalist ("reporter" because it's the 1980s).

The whole thing is so clearly ridiculous bullshit but it's marketed as being based on a true story because Frank Dux insisted his bullshit was true. And it was produced by Cannon Films, which is another can of worms entirely (I highly recommend the documentary Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films for more backstory on the company; it is bonkers). And did I mention that Frank Dux is played by Jean-Claude van Damme? And yes he does do the most epic of splits.

And the whole thing is simultaneously so deep in meta layers (self-proclaimed martial arts masters, which ties into Count Dante and the dojo wars, Frank Dux's amazing bullshit and stolen valor, Cannon Films) and yet so incredibly shallow at the same time.

There's minimal plot, zero depth to the characters, massively long flashback sequences, even longer training montages, a totally ridiculous amalgamation of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean cultures into just "Asian Culture," the dubbing in some scenes is practically criminal, there's minimal exploration of the location (Hong fucking Kong!!!) outside of a chase and a throwaway scene about bad restaurant food, and even the fight scenes during the tournament aren't really all that great.

But the Kowloon Walled City gets some screentime (except that it's just a set sometimes). And there are tons of locally-hired extras and bit players, along with a slew of international actors and/or actual martial artists, even if a lot of them have been cast as nationalities other than their own???--like Bernard Mariano, who is Filipino by descent but was born in Hong Kong, had no martial arts experience but got scouted while he was working out, was cast as a "Middle Eastern" fighter named Hossein, but used his pay from the movie for university classes to go on to be an English teacher in Hong Kong. Meanwhile, Jean-Claude van Damme is busy taking his shirt off and wearing super tight spandex underwear (he snaps them in one scene; you're welcome). Leah Ayres is a "reporter," which is really "journalist" and one of the few adventurous jobs acceptable for women in 1980s movies to have, who maybe lives in Hong Kong or maybe doesn't but she's super cute and deserves better than she got in the script; she's The Girl (Leah Ayres is now into pseudoscience). And Donald Gibb is playing this American bar brawler who somehow got invited to this elite fighting tournament and he looks like Kurt Russell in The Thing if he were still infected by the Thing and living out on the ice alone.

Like, I could just keep going. I love this shit. There is so little that's "good" in terms of filmmaking, scriptwriting, cinematography, anything in this movie and yet it entertains the fuck out of me.

Hence: guilty pleasure film.

[wonderful-writers-au]

Could I request maybe Steve or Billy or JJ (I’m so sorry I’m so indecisive) where you’re at a party and a guy is being strange and invading personal bubble and Steve/Billy/JJ (whichever) steps in and is like jealous but justifiably and is just protective or however you think they’d react?

I’m so sorry and I hope this is okay, this is my first time requesting something and I feel like I’m about to sweat from stress and nerves

Too Close For My Liking Man

JJ Maybank X F!Cameron!Reader

W/C - 1.0K

Summary - Some guy is invading your space and JJ doesn't approve.

Warnings - Angst, fluff, swearing, alcohol use and alcohol + drug mention and that's abt it i think!

You toss around in your bed sheets as you hear booming music over the speakers Rafe set up in the house. Fuck him. You had a test at school tomorrow and you did not need this. Rafe didn't understand, he fails school and Dad still pays him money for motorbike fuel and crack. You fail and he'll disown you. Rafe was so privileged, and you hated it with every bone in your body.

Your phone buzzes on the nightstand, you sigh and turn it on.

Sare-Bear 🐻

Babes, you need to come down here rn. Rafe is going to kill you.

Why?

Your little crush arrived.

Shit. Read 11:23 am

--------

You put a proper tight dress that you had for any occasion, you weren't about to show up in a baggy T-shirt and worn-out jeans. 'Your little crush arrived.' She meant JJ, a pouge. She was right, Rafe will kill you. As long as you reach JJ before he does. You put on heels and walk out of your room and down the stairs.

"Hey! Hey! Y/N! I was hoping to see you here!" JJ exclaims as he brushes your shoulder with his fingertips. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" You half yell, you grab his wrist and lead him into your bedroom.

"We're already in your room princess? I thought you would've had some drinks first before we got in this position." He smirks. You shake your head and try to not say something back like you usually would. He looks at your bookshelf and scans the books with his fingers. "Answer the question." You mutter out.

"Uh, I'm here because the pouge were having drinks at the chateau, right? Anyway, Kie and Pope went somewhere and John B, I don't even fucking know, but I turned on the TV and started thinking about us!" He explains and you tilt your head ever so slightly at him. "In what way?"

"Well, we flirt, all the fucking time right, so what if we were more." He asks, taking a step closer to you, you were still at the door, fingers crossed no one will come in and ask why you had a man-whore of a pouge in your room. "Uh, two things, one, my dad will kill me, two, Rafe would kill both of us."

"But I just think that you're so pretty and th-""Look, JJ, I really am flattered, but we will never work, you're a pouge, I'm a kook and my parents and sibling will kill my ass." You interrupt him and he nods. He looks so sad; you would do anything just to make this moment never exist. Fuck the test tomorrow you just broke a friendship with someone who meant some much to you and as what he is saying to you makes so much sense to your heart it doesn't as much to your brain.

He steps closer to you and places a kiss on your lips so softly and breaks the kiss. You really wanted more, but you wanted alcohol more now. "Bye, Y/N." JJ mumbles as he leaves. Shit. Shit. Shit. You wish with everything that you could retake those words and never of said them in the first place. You wish that you let him finish his goddamned sentence.

You slowly walk out of your room and down the stairs. You walk into the kitchen and find a bottle of Malibu and slowly pour out shots for yourself until a guy comes around and slowly starts making small talk with you. "So, what are you doing all alone?" He asks you.

"I actually live here for your information." You slur. He smirks at your remarks and cups your elbow. He tries to pull you in, but you push away. "Have you had one to many, princess? I didn't know you lived here." You sigh and push off the counter and try to go to the bathroom, but he stops you and holds your waist.

As soon as he said princess, that's when you wanted nothing to do with him. It reminded you too much of the friend you just lost about thirty minutes prior to when he came around. Fuck, you really couldn't get out of talking to him, could you?

"So, are you dating someone? Or are you mine for the taking?" The guy asks and you nod your head. He was holding your waist hard, too hard. You wanted to disappear and never see him again, but as soon as you try pull away, his grasp on you grows stronger.

"I'm-""Taken. By me, so please, step away, you're standing too close for my liking man." You hear JJ say, the look on the creeps' face as he backs away from you and JJ takes you to your own bedroom. You hug him as soon as the door closes and your press a kiss to his forehead. "Thank you so much, I don't know what I would've done without you." You whisper in his ear. As soon as you back away, your eyes go to his lips and his hands slither around your waist. Your lips hover inches away from each other's as you decide to break the gap and kiss him. Your arms twine around his neck and you giggle as you both break the kiss.

"I think we might just make it after all." You smile

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N - Please request things if you want! I have a couple that I am working on but here is the people that I write for ***

Taglist request here **

@idky5

[safetycar-restart]

Could I claim 🍀?

Ooh hybrids in the porn Au. We've talked about bunny Charles.. but what about cat!Max.

At the start, I see him only do shoots that he can hide his tail in or lay down so the camera doesn't catch his ears.

Eventually, you catch on because ofc when 'cat hybrid sucks dick' drops, and people question whether he's an actual cat hybrid or not. You know smth is up.

So you need to chat with him. he gets called into the big boss office. And poor max is stressing. Thinking you are ashamed of him for showing his tail in a video by accident even though he tried his hardest to hide it.

But no, it's the opposite, you praise him for it. Knowing you cant be blunt about it, everytime from then on when a tail or a ear. Or he purrs in a video. Whenever he shows any sign of him being a hybrid in a shoot you praise him when you see him in the halls or when you stay and watch.

You slowly encourage him to be more proud about his hybrid-ness...

Oooo yes I love this!! I love how we're including other AUs in the porn au, it's all so good.

So firstly, I think max would join the porn studio because he really needed money. In fact he'd go to the audition only because he was almost certain he wouldn't be hired. Especially because he says very clearly that he doesn't want his tail and ears in the video, that he wants to pretend to not be a cat hybrid. To his surprise, you not only hire him but also agree to all his terms with no issue.

To you, max is a great hire. He's got a different body type to your other boys. His eyes and lips are just fucking sinful. You know he'd be amazing.

And you're right, he's great, albeit a little shy. You definitely have to pair him up with some others who can really encourage him and get him out of his shell (especially Lando and Mick, they both manage to get Max to open up so well).

That's how it goes for a while, max films and does well and you make sure to let him know that. But, as he required, his cat hybrid status was always kept hidden in the videos.

It's a pity, because cat hybrids are a genre of porn on their own, and even though you already have two cat hybrids, you'd love to have four and be able to make cat hybrid orgy videos. But of course you'd never push max beyond his boundaries, so you keep your desires to have four cat hybrids in videos secret.

You always check every video before it gets posted. The videos are filmed and then the editors edit them and name them and send them to you. You check them and make sure they're up to your standards and then post them.

It's when you're checking videos that you discover the editors have named a video 'cat hybrid sucks dick' and it's one of max's videos. You skim through it and see that max's tail is in view in several scenes.

You like the video, but you're unsure what max will think so you call him into your office. Poor max is practically shaking when he enters your office, so convinced that he's messed something up.

You tell him to sit on the couch with you and put your laptop on the coffee table, showing him the video. Max immediately begins apologising, because all he's ever been told is that his cat hybrid status is shameful and must be hidden. So he thinks that you'd be upset with him for failing to hide it.

But instead, you tell him that you really like the video and you'd love to post it with his permission. Max is so shocked, and he just keeps on repeating that his tail is visible.

It's not until you force him to face you and tell him that you love his tail and he looks so hot in the video, that he realises he hasn't done anything wrong and agrees for the video to be posted.

It's his most popular video to date.

From there, you make sure to praise him every single time he shows off his hybrid status. Even if it's just his ears peaking into frame. You try to be there for most of his shoots, so that you can praise him in person and encourage him to do shots that show off his tail or ears.

Maybe you also tell the others about this so that they can also praise max and help him get more comfortable? Which leads to a video where Carlos is facefucking max and he says "That's a good fucking kitty" to Max which just.... max fucking purrs around his cock.

[palmtreepalmtree]

I honestly don't know if I can do Rosh Hashanah this year. There is so much baggage I'm carrying with my family right now. There's a part of me that just wants to drive away. But I don't think I can do that to my mom, and also that's just avoiding the issues.

The biggest thing is that I haven't really seen my brother-in-law since my niece's bat mitzvah in January. It wasn't intentional, but it wasn't unintentional either. I definitely let it happen. He's been having issues with my sister and while they've reconciled or are working on things, I have not forgiven him or let shit go. I have always had issues with him. But me being me, I always just kept my silence and tried to avoid confrontation.

Then he was unkind to my mom last year in a big family blow up where he complained about how he was treated in our house. As it was, I always felt that I had to work so hard to cater to his ego in our house, and that blow up just made me feel like what was the fucking point. Now more than ever I feel this heightened need to be careful around him. I pretty much just ignored him at the bat mitzvah, but he'll be staying in the house so of course I can't do that now. And apparently ignoring him was part of the problem. I can't believe how much emotional work I am doing to accommodate this person.

And to make matters more complicated, his brother will be visiting from out of town. Our house is pretty full already - I already give up my bedroom to accommodate my sister and brother-in-law. Now this guy is going to be sleeping on the den floor. He's perfectly nice, I guess, (though we're both lawyers and that can be sort of a thing iykyk), but what adult man decides to sleep on a futon in the middle of the house instead of just getting a hotel room? He's a big law lawyer, he can afford it. I would never. I barely want to stay with friends when they have a guest room (am I weird about this btw?).

And then there's my cousin and her in-laws. Firstly, my cousin is sicker all the time with cancer. I think she might be close to the end of her fight. Which is a heartbreaking thing to say about someone I adore, someone I grew up with, who is 45 years old, and has three children in their teens. She is fighting so hard, but she's in treatment three days a week, and she will never stop for the rest of her life. I'm happy she'll be coming, but I worry about her being around the 19 other people.

And then her in-laws are coming, and they are bringing their 100-year-old matriarch, who is a wonderful woman, but she is 100 years old, no one ever talks to her except me and my mom, and I don't know who is risking bringing someone like that around a place with 19 other people right now.

AND my cousin is not on the best terms with her mother-in-law. That's too complicated to get into here, but it's not the most pleasant thing in the world. As it is, they are not my favorite people. We've known them and included them for almost 20 years at this point, and over the years it has become clearer and clearer how different my values are from theirs when it comes to money and society. They're not Trump people, but they're definitely Rick Caruso people.

All of that is the backdrop to this dinner that I will be helping my mom to host for 20 people. She will be very stressed so I expect to get yelled at a lot tomorrow. And we're the type of people who smile and get along and pretend, while seething inwardly.

And it's not just like everyone goes home at the end of the night. I'll still have my brother-in-law and his brother at the house, probably all weekend. And I'm obligated to sit through like four hours of services on Saturday in the middle of this. All while not having my own private space to retreat to at the end of it until the family leaves.

Seriously, the more I type this, the more I think I should just leave. But I would never do that to my mom.